What hurts the most: Lily
Remus sat there for an hour he supposed, it felt like an eternity before he opened the box of letters and mementos of Sirius’s sex life. He picked up the first that had a letter that was from lily, he knew her handwriting anywhere.
Dear Padfoot,
I enjoyed our time together as brief as it was but it can’t continue. What happened was infatuation, not love. I love James and I am pregnant with his child. I am sorry to say this or to hurt you in any way but I have to. It would be worse to lead you on with the notion of what can never be. I hope that we can remain the kind of friends we always where.
Sincerely Lily Evans.
Remus went back in his mind to that day when Lily and James announced their ingadgment to the order of the phoenix, he pretended to be happy for them but he could sense that he was devastated. He took him away to the back yard where he said nothing but turned to him for comfort for his secret pain. Sirius was wild that night takiing Remus’s place as the alpha male leaving scratches and bruises where he had been.
Remus now understood why he was so lost that night and his heart broke for his dark lover’s pain he went to the china cabinet where the firewhisky was kept and he poured himself a glass and toasted the memory of his friend Lily.