On secrets
I've noticed that secrets pop up a lot lately in my life. Deep, personal desires, or past mistake secrets, or momentous events that must stay silent, or even just little things that nobody knows about. I keep other peoples' secrets, I am good at that. I never talk when talk will harm, and sharing private things is almost always a harm.
But I've not kept secrets for myself. And I am wondering if that was a bad idea.
A lot of you reading know a lot about me. Some of you know really deep things about me, stuff that's probably going to embarrass the hell out of me if anyone told. But so much of what you know, I have not tried to hide. So much of my secrets, I've told you myself as if they were casual topics of conversation. I thought at one time that sharing openly of myself was noble, hiding nothing was fearless and right. Now... I think I have given up so much that I have lost a great deal, if not all, of my innocence. And lately, a lot, it feels like that was not a good thing to do.
There are those around me whose mystery intrigues, and those whose hidden past is out of the way, not blocking their ability to charm or to shine. There are those who, having not bared their souls entirely, still remain sweet and non-threatening to others. Those who still hold innocence and attraction, to myself and to others.
I am not jaded. The world holds countless joys and mysteries for me, and even more fantastic people to know and love. But I think I may have done the reverse to some of those who are close to me, and jaded them to myself...
But I've not kept secrets for myself. And I am wondering if that was a bad idea.
A lot of you reading know a lot about me. Some of you know really deep things about me, stuff that's probably going to embarrass the hell out of me if anyone told. But so much of what you know, I have not tried to hide. So much of my secrets, I've told you myself as if they were casual topics of conversation. I thought at one time that sharing openly of myself was noble, hiding nothing was fearless and right. Now... I think I have given up so much that I have lost a great deal, if not all, of my innocence. And lately, a lot, it feels like that was not a good thing to do.
There are those around me whose mystery intrigues, and those whose hidden past is out of the way, not blocking their ability to charm or to shine. There are those who, having not bared their souls entirely, still remain sweet and non-threatening to others. Those who still hold innocence and attraction, to myself and to others.
I am not jaded. The world holds countless joys and mysteries for me, and even more fantastic people to know and love. But I think I may have done the reverse to some of those who are close to me, and jaded them to myself...