I Don't Know Where To Start...
Happy May You Sons of Bitches...
Well, it's been an interesting few months for ol' Bill Tabernacle. I don't think I'll be able to cover all of it, but let me try to give you the goddamn info while I'm still awake.
The cops are officially done looking for me. Being on the road for weeks trying to get to California must've kept them off of my trail. That's the good news.
The bad news? Oh shit yes, Bill-fans. There's plenty of that to go around.
1. I never did meet up with Murray and his cooze Heather out in California. By the time I got out there, I had diarrhea so bad and I'm sure the two of them were already done with their little 'getaway.' That left Bill and any chance I had with Heather's friend Mary (who wanted to roll around with me) out in the shithouse.
2. My trick knee is swollen like a priest's cock in a church full of naked altar boys. Two miles from my apartment and some hobo that I'd run into months back came and hit me across the knee with a pipe. I swear, if I would've had my bayonet, I would've skinned the prick silly.
3. I no longer have an apartment. Like the idiot I am, I never arranged to have my rent taken care of or paid ahead while I was gone. I came back to see a couple of faggots (no, it's okay. they were faggots. I asked) moving into my place. All of my shit, what was left of it, was left out near the dumpster. And yes, the tools I boosted from Ray's hardware? Gone. Murray made out on that deal. I got the dry fucking.
4. To make ends meet, I pawned a handful of wedding rings from the previous Mrs. Tabernacle's. I only got $1500 for it, but it was enough for me to find a roommate and get a roof over my head until I get shit sorted out.
5. My roommate? His name is Quong and he's Korean. I'm not sure how well this is going to work out. He seems like a nice enough college kid, but we're definitely cut from different a cloth. I don't think I've got the heart to tell him I was in the Korean War, goddammit.
So, I've been getting settled into my new and temporary space. It's not ideal. We share a bunkbed and since he's afraid of heights, I get the top. Thanks Quong. Thanks a whole lot. Some nights my knee hurts so goddamn much I just sleep on the floor.
Not sure how many of you still read this, but I've missed shooting the shit and angering some of my more sensitive readers. If you've got a moment, pop in and say hello to old Bill. Believe it or not, being on the road wandering around like a fucking vagrant made me realize how good I had it.
All right. Enough bullshit. I'm going to steal one of Quong's Hot Pockets and turn in.
I'll update as often as I can...or when my roommate doesn't need his computer.
Shitted,
Bill Tabernacle
Well, it's been an interesting few months for ol' Bill Tabernacle. I don't think I'll be able to cover all of it, but let me try to give you the goddamn info while I'm still awake.
The cops are officially done looking for me. Being on the road for weeks trying to get to California must've kept them off of my trail. That's the good news.
The bad news? Oh shit yes, Bill-fans. There's plenty of that to go around.
1. I never did meet up with Murray and his cooze Heather out in California. By the time I got out there, I had diarrhea so bad and I'm sure the two of them were already done with their little 'getaway.' That left Bill and any chance I had with Heather's friend Mary (who wanted to roll around with me) out in the shithouse.
2. My trick knee is swollen like a priest's cock in a church full of naked altar boys. Two miles from my apartment and some hobo that I'd run into months back came and hit me across the knee with a pipe. I swear, if I would've had my bayonet, I would've skinned the prick silly.
3. I no longer have an apartment. Like the idiot I am, I never arranged to have my rent taken care of or paid ahead while I was gone. I came back to see a couple of faggots (no, it's okay. they were faggots. I asked) moving into my place. All of my shit, what was left of it, was left out near the dumpster. And yes, the tools I boosted from Ray's hardware? Gone. Murray made out on that deal. I got the dry fucking.
4. To make ends meet, I pawned a handful of wedding rings from the previous Mrs. Tabernacle's. I only got $1500 for it, but it was enough for me to find a roommate and get a roof over my head until I get shit sorted out.
5. My roommate? His name is Quong and he's Korean. I'm not sure how well this is going to work out. He seems like a nice enough college kid, but we're definitely cut from different a cloth. I don't think I've got the heart to tell him I was in the Korean War, goddammit.
So, I've been getting settled into my new and temporary space. It's not ideal. We share a bunkbed and since he's afraid of heights, I get the top. Thanks Quong. Thanks a whole lot. Some nights my knee hurts so goddamn much I just sleep on the floor.
Not sure how many of you still read this, but I've missed shooting the shit and angering some of my more sensitive readers. If you've got a moment, pop in and say hello to old Bill. Believe it or not, being on the road wandering around like a fucking vagrant made me realize how good I had it.
All right. Enough bullshit. I'm going to steal one of Quong's Hot Pockets and turn in.
I'll update as often as I can...or when my roommate doesn't need his computer.
Shitted,
Bill Tabernacle