Spring Forth
It's Spring! It's Spring! It's Spring!
There can be no doubt. The Vernal Equinox was days ago.
Besides, Punxsutawney Phil, seer of seers and prognosticator of prognosticators, predicted an early end to winter this year.
As I write this, the sun is coming up. It looks to be a bright sunny day today. It's made all the brighter by the reflection off the snowbanks. It's 28 degrees. Fahrenheit.
I looked over at the cocoon of comforters enveloping The Unindicted Co-Conspirator and said,
"Spring has spring, the grass has riz,
I wonder where the flowers is?"
The Unimpeachable One replied,
"Spring ain't sprung. The grass ain't visible.
The thought of flowers is downright risible."
Ohio prosecutor Mike Gmoser has issued an indictment against the groundhog.
"On or about February 02, 2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.
SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil."
Bill Deeley, current president of The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, said that Phil had lawyered up and would fight any extradition attempts by Ohio. "We'll have to plead our case one way or the other," said Deeley, "but I think we can beat the rap." He added that security had been stepped up in the light of public outrage at Phil's clearly mistaken prediction of an early thaw.
Mike Johnson, a former Groundhog Club inner circle members, defended Phil, saying the miraculous Mamota monax is "incapable of error. I’m sure if you talk to the folks in Texas, they would tell you they’ve had spring-like conditions for the past month, much more premature, much earlier and much warmer and much hotter,” he said. “So Phil was spot on.”
More snow is forecast for Monday.
There can be no doubt. The Vernal Equinox was days ago.
Besides, Punxsutawney Phil, seer of seers and prognosticator of prognosticators, predicted an early end to winter this year.
As I write this, the sun is coming up. It looks to be a bright sunny day today. It's made all the brighter by the reflection off the snowbanks. It's 28 degrees. Fahrenheit.
I looked over at the cocoon of comforters enveloping The Unindicted Co-Conspirator and said,
"Spring has spring, the grass has riz,
I wonder where the flowers is?"
The Unimpeachable One replied,
"Spring ain't sprung. The grass ain't visible.
The thought of flowers is downright risible."
Ohio prosecutor Mike Gmoser has issued an indictment against the groundhog.
"On or about February 02, 2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.
SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil."
Bill Deeley, current president of The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, said that Phil had lawyered up and would fight any extradition attempts by Ohio. "We'll have to plead our case one way or the other," said Deeley, "but I think we can beat the rap." He added that security had been stepped up in the light of public outrage at Phil's clearly mistaken prediction of an early thaw.
Mike Johnson, a former Groundhog Club inner circle members, defended Phil, saying the miraculous Mamota monax is "incapable of error. I’m sure if you talk to the folks in Texas, they would tell you they’ve had spring-like conditions for the past month, much more premature, much earlier and much warmer and much hotter,” he said. “So Phil was spot on.”
More snow is forecast for Monday.