Get Over It!
We're a week away from when the Supreme Court will hear arguments concerning the repeal of California's Proposition 8 and the federal Defense of Marriage Act. The tide of public opinion has clearly changed, but there are still quite a few conservatives fighting a rearguard action. This morning I heard an argument that I thought had been put to rest years ago.
"I'm in favor of civil unions for homosexuals, but not Holy Matrimony."
Holy Matrimony is a sacrament of the church. It is not marriage.
Marriage is the union of two people under law. Religion has nothing to do with it. It is the state which marries and dissolves marriages; the church merely blesses and witnesses according to authority vested by the state. People tend to forget this because many people marry in places of worship, but they had to have a license from the state in their sweaty little hands before the minister performed the ceremony.
There are very good reasons why religions don’t have a say in who may legally marry. They can’t agree with each other. In the eyes of some churches, I should not be married to my wife; I am an adulterer who is still joined in indissoluble union to my first wife. In the eyes of other churches, my marriage is invalid because it we entered into it with no intention of ever having children, and actively prevent any such consequence on all conceivable occasions. Still other religions would object to the fact that my wife does not wear a bee-keeper suit when going outdoors.
So-called civil unions are not marriage. They do not provide the same benefits, privileges, and responsibilities that are enjoyed by a married couple. There's the right of a spouse to make medical decisions for the other if he or she is incapacitated, the right to inherit, homestead rights to their house, the right to be the legal parent of a spouse's children, the right to file taxes jointly and collect spousal benefits under Social Security and hundreds of other things we heterosexual marrieds take for granted.
Marriage is good for society. Two may live together more economically. Two parents are better for children. A couple are simply more stable than singles. Here in Massachusetts, where we've had same-sex marriage for nine years, we enjoy one of the lowest divorce rates in the nation.
There are three arguments against same-sex marriage:
1. I don’t approve.
2. Nature doesn’t approve.
3. God doesn’t approve.
Only the first is valid. You can take the other two and spread them on your rose beds.
There is no accommodation to be had with those who think “separate but almost equal as long as the religious can continue to discriminate” is a reasonable compromise. To quote Bobby Cramer, “All anyone is asking for is equality. We expect nothing more, and we will accept nothing less. That seems pretty reasonable to me.”
And those who don't like it can just get over themselves.
"I'm in favor of civil unions for homosexuals, but not Holy Matrimony."
Holy Matrimony is a sacrament of the church. It is not marriage.
Marriage is the union of two people under law. Religion has nothing to do with it. It is the state which marries and dissolves marriages; the church merely blesses and witnesses according to authority vested by the state. People tend to forget this because many people marry in places of worship, but they had to have a license from the state in their sweaty little hands before the minister performed the ceremony.
There are very good reasons why religions don’t have a say in who may legally marry. They can’t agree with each other. In the eyes of some churches, I should not be married to my wife; I am an adulterer who is still joined in indissoluble union to my first wife. In the eyes of other churches, my marriage is invalid because it we entered into it with no intention of ever having children, and actively prevent any such consequence on all conceivable occasions. Still other religions would object to the fact that my wife does not wear a bee-keeper suit when going outdoors.
So-called civil unions are not marriage. They do not provide the same benefits, privileges, and responsibilities that are enjoyed by a married couple. There's the right of a spouse to make medical decisions for the other if he or she is incapacitated, the right to inherit, homestead rights to their house, the right to be the legal parent of a spouse's children, the right to file taxes jointly and collect spousal benefits under Social Security and hundreds of other things we heterosexual marrieds take for granted.
Marriage is good for society. Two may live together more economically. Two parents are better for children. A couple are simply more stable than singles. Here in Massachusetts, where we've had same-sex marriage for nine years, we enjoy one of the lowest divorce rates in the nation.
There are three arguments against same-sex marriage:
1. I don’t approve.
2. Nature doesn’t approve.
3. God doesn’t approve.
Only the first is valid. You can take the other two and spread them on your rose beds.
There is no accommodation to be had with those who think “separate but almost equal as long as the religious can continue to discriminate” is a reasonable compromise. To quote Bobby Cramer, “All anyone is asking for is equality. We expect nothing more, and we will accept nothing less. That seems pretty reasonable to me.”
And those who don't like it can just get over themselves.