Tails from the Trail
I'm sorry, but my tax returns are personal. The other party has approached taxes in a very different way than in the past. Their opposition people are looking for anything they can find to distort, to twist, and to try and make negative. They just want to use them to distract from their own failure. I'm simply not not enthusiastic about giving them hundreds or thousands of more pages to pick through, distort, and lie about.
Heck, I've already released as many tax returns as Teresa Heinz.
My father released his tax returns, and look what happened to him. He lost.
Besides, I've outsourced all my accounting to Mumbai. Why don't you contact my accountant, Kantharajappa Vishwanath Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta? Don't mispronounce his name, though - he's quite sensitive about it.
How much do I keep in secret offshore accounts? I don't know. It's a secret. All of my vast holdings are managed in a blind trust. The decisions made by the trustee are the decisions that determine where the investments are. I don't even know who the trustee is. All I know is that I get a daily stack of clean, non-sequential banknotes delivered in a brown paper bag by a brown-shoed square in the dead of night.
I am uniquely qualified because of my experience. I have an understanding of how business decisions are made, as well as an understanding about the actions that are destructive to job creation and the actions that encourage job creation. Just ask Mr. Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta how many jobs I've created. It's not just the accounting office. There's also the chai wallah, the dhobi wallah, and the rickshaw wallah. I'm a job creator.
My understanding of how business decisions are made can be seen in my management style. I know nothing of what my company did while I was chairman, chief executive, and sole stockholder. Due to a temporal anomaly, I had already retired. It's a private company, so I don't have to tell you anything. But I certainly wasn't responsible for anything bad my company did during that time. That's why we have corporate scapegoats, like Mr. Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta.
But I will tell you this. My opponent is a scheming, conniving Chicago politician. You can't trust a thing he says. I wish he'd learn to act like an American. You know, like me.
Heck, I've already released as many tax returns as Teresa Heinz.
My father released his tax returns, and look what happened to him. He lost.
Besides, I've outsourced all my accounting to Mumbai. Why don't you contact my accountant, Kantharajappa Vishwanath Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta? Don't mispronounce his name, though - he's quite sensitive about it.
How much do I keep in secret offshore accounts? I don't know. It's a secret. All of my vast holdings are managed in a blind trust. The decisions made by the trustee are the decisions that determine where the investments are. I don't even know who the trustee is. All I know is that I get a daily stack of clean, non-sequential banknotes delivered in a brown paper bag by a brown-shoed square in the dead of night.
I am uniquely qualified because of my experience. I have an understanding of how business decisions are made, as well as an understanding about the actions that are destructive to job creation and the actions that encourage job creation. Just ask Mr. Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta how many jobs I've created. It's not just the accounting office. There's also the chai wallah, the dhobi wallah, and the rickshaw wallah. I'm a job creator.
My understanding of how business decisions are made can be seen in my management style. I know nothing of what my company did while I was chairman, chief executive, and sole stockholder. Due to a temporal anomaly, I had already retired. It's a private company, so I don't have to tell you anything. But I certainly wasn't responsible for anything bad my company did during that time. That's why we have corporate scapegoats, like Mr. Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta.
But I will tell you this. My opponent is a scheming, conniving Chicago politician. You can't trust a thing he says. I wish he'd learn to act like an American. You know, like me.