My name: In San Diego people thought I was a pale latino while up here I'm a dark russian.
Today is the one year anniversary of the first day I woke up in Portland. It's overwhelming to think of all that has changed. Even disorienting. Hm. This is not who I was and I will not be this later. Time. Being.
I feel lately that I'm stuck in an aesthetic mode of life; following what pleases me and avoiding things that don't. Some ethics. Less religion. I wonder how much of my hermitdom is self-imposed by flat disinterest in people. I turn down free drinks at work because I'd rather be alone than around people--who are friendly but--but. How much of this discord is from my hand? All. I'm just not convinced I'd be happier drunk and social. I have trouble communicating in groups larger than three. What I do is of no interest to people. I'm not interested in what they do either. Aren't I a bit old to be feeling this sort of alienation?
I need a muse, goddess, fate, meaning, aim, target, goal, form, perfection, happiness. I need to be all of Socrates or none of him.
I feel lately that I'm stuck in an aesthetic mode of life; following what pleases me and avoiding things that don't. Some ethics. Less religion. I wonder how much of my hermitdom is self-imposed by flat disinterest in people. I turn down free drinks at work because I'd rather be alone than around people--who are friendly but--but. How much of this discord is from my hand? All. I'm just not convinced I'd be happier drunk and social. I have trouble communicating in groups larger than three. What I do is of no interest to people. I'm not interested in what they do either. Aren't I a bit old to be feeling this sort of alienation?
I need a muse, goddess, fate, meaning, aim, target, goal, form, perfection, happiness. I need to be all of Socrates or none of him.