(no subject)
I want to purge so badly
They made me eat dinner. It was plain spinach, then rice and mushrooms with this sauce on it. I was thinking 'shit, how am i going to get out of this?' there was about a cup of rice, a cup of spinach and like 4 mushrooms (if they weren't cut up) on my plate when i went downstairs. I ate like 6 leaves of spinach and made a little stack with the rest so it looked like i ate more. then i gave my brother like half of my rice and my sister half of my mushrooms while my dad and uncle were talking. then i ate half of what was left of the rice and mushrooms and piled the rest under the spinach. I have no clue how many cals that was. I tried to eat around the sauce and gave most of it to my bro and sis so i think it's probably under 400. I'm just so mad because I was doing so well and had no intention of eating after i last wrote. i couldnt say i was going to dinner with my friend because they won't let me out until my room is clean and it's not and by the time i do go out it'll be like 9 and they were like 'well, you can't wait till then to eat.'
little do they know...
i really think they have no suspicions. i'm just so busy that they forget about whether or not i eat. it's great. that's why i didn't want to protest too much about dinner tonite. i dont want to make them wonder. i think they are too busy fighting to watch me push my food into piles.
hopefully it stays that way
They made me eat dinner. It was plain spinach, then rice and mushrooms with this sauce on it. I was thinking 'shit, how am i going to get out of this?' there was about a cup of rice, a cup of spinach and like 4 mushrooms (if they weren't cut up) on my plate when i went downstairs. I ate like 6 leaves of spinach and made a little stack with the rest so it looked like i ate more. then i gave my brother like half of my rice and my sister half of my mushrooms while my dad and uncle were talking. then i ate half of what was left of the rice and mushrooms and piled the rest under the spinach. I have no clue how many cals that was. I tried to eat around the sauce and gave most of it to my bro and sis so i think it's probably under 400. I'm just so mad because I was doing so well and had no intention of eating after i last wrote. i couldnt say i was going to dinner with my friend because they won't let me out until my room is clean and it's not and by the time i do go out it'll be like 9 and they were like 'well, you can't wait till then to eat.'
little do they know...
i really think they have no suspicions. i'm just so busy that they forget about whether or not i eat. it's great. that's why i didn't want to protest too much about dinner tonite. i dont want to make them wonder. i think they are too busy fighting to watch me push my food into piles.
hopefully it stays that way