(no subject)
Okay, I'm STILL not done cleaning my room! I moved on to my closet today and now all of my dressers, closet, countertops, etc are like minimalisticly (new word, like it?) clean--nothing on them barely. But, I have a pile of stuff to donate and a pile of papers, etc... to look through still. Hence, it's not done yet.
Okay so I cheated on the fast a little today :( bad bad me. But it's okay right? I had kind of counted on it yesterday anyhow. this is what I ate
2 hydroxycut = 0 cals
4 cups water = 0 cals
5 oz. twist frozen yogurt = about 140 cals
20 blueberries (like 1/2 cup you think?) = about 40 cals
soo much fruit salad, like 3 or 4 cups! = around...300 cals? is that enough? I'll say 400
1 liter of sparkling fruit water = 0 cals (and sooo yummy!)
TOTAL = 480 cals
schmer, i should have sticked to my liquid ness! oh well, tomorrow's a new day :) and actually, compared to a few days ago, this is AWESOME
one more thing:
when I was cleaning, I was looking through my old school papers and just look at what I TURNED IN to my advanced writing class. like, was i insane? and...what was my teacher thinking for not doing something (although I'm glad) her daughter was anorexic when she was 6! and her sister was too i think so she should know a little something about it--
the assignment was "write about where your poems hide"
oh and keep in mind that I suck at poetry
My Poems Hide On My Plate
by J
I used to be good at this,
I'm not so strong now:
no self-discipline,
no control.
If I tell,
you'll all think I'm
odd
and try to change me.
I pick up the fork,
(unnervingly similar to)
Lucifer's weapon.
I bring it to my mouth.
I imagine what will happen to me if I
do or don't
bite.
I see perfection, I see rolls,
I see hunger, I see fullness.
But it's normal to do it,
if I don't, you'll wonder why.
So I chew
and chew
and chew
and chew
twenty-five times,
then I swallow
and feel the weight
added around my belly.
Only nineteen
bites to go.
Then I will be
the average American,
a glutton in front of a
TV.
her comment was:
"a good idea-
needs revision-
better line breaks-
more specific-concrete
language"
Okay, I agree with all of that but was she totally ignoring the fact that I practically handed in a sheet of paper that screamed 'I'M ANOREXIC!'
I always have this deep down feeling of wanting to tell someone about my ED, but just for them to know, not to get help. does that make sense?
kay, I'm tired now
g'nite lovlies!
<3J<3
Okay so I cheated on the fast a little today :( bad bad me. But it's okay right? I had kind of counted on it yesterday anyhow. this is what I ate
2 hydroxycut = 0 cals
4 cups water = 0 cals
5 oz. twist frozen yogurt = about 140 cals
20 blueberries (like 1/2 cup you think?) = about 40 cals
soo much fruit salad, like 3 or 4 cups! = around...300 cals? is that enough? I'll say 400
1 liter of sparkling fruit water = 0 cals (and sooo yummy!)
TOTAL = 480 cals
schmer, i should have sticked to my liquid ness! oh well, tomorrow's a new day :) and actually, compared to a few days ago, this is AWESOME
one more thing:
when I was cleaning, I was looking through my old school papers and just look at what I TURNED IN to my advanced writing class. like, was i insane? and...what was my teacher thinking for not doing something (although I'm glad) her daughter was anorexic when she was 6! and her sister was too i think so she should know a little something about it--
the assignment was "write about where your poems hide"
oh and keep in mind that I suck at poetry
My Poems Hide On My Plate
by J
I used to be good at this,
I'm not so strong now:
no self-discipline,
no control.
If I tell,
you'll all think I'm
odd
and try to change me.
I pick up the fork,
(unnervingly similar to)
Lucifer's weapon.
I bring it to my mouth.
I imagine what will happen to me if I
do or don't
bite.
I see perfection, I see rolls,
I see hunger, I see fullness.
But it's normal to do it,
if I don't, you'll wonder why.
So I chew
and chew
and chew
and chew
twenty-five times,
then I swallow
and feel the weight
added around my belly.
Only nineteen
bites to go.
Then I will be
the average American,
a glutton in front of a
TV.
her comment was:
"a good idea-
needs revision-
better line breaks-
more specific-concrete
language"
Okay, I agree with all of that but was she totally ignoring the fact that I practically handed in a sheet of paper that screamed 'I'M ANOREXIC!'
I always have this deep down feeling of wanting to tell someone about my ED, but just for them to know, not to get help. does that make sense?
kay, I'm tired now
g'nite lovlies!
<3J<3