(no subject)
One of the longest weeks that I can remember.
A lot of things have changed at this place, but the underlying feelings remain the same. Such as feeling cold, due to waking up in 47degree weather and running out to early morning formations. However, it seems like everything that could be a complication became one that I had to resolve. It's a weird feeling going from having very little responsibility in Florida - waking up at 10am+, doing what I wanted for the day and night, and repeating the whole process for over a year - to this.
I haven't stopped moving since my arrival here, and I now find myself with a shortage of time in the days and a surplus of exhaustion to make for a deep sleep that *almost* replenishes my stamina so that I wake up just a little more tired each morning. However, this beats the pants off of sitting around and is exactly what I need to be doing right now - the end of undergrad is still in sight.
It's weird to be back because everyone that I knew is now a senior and I am with a sea of new people. I use the word 'sea' because admissions has seen a staggering increase in the number of students applying (I had to initially move into a temporary housing place because there weren't enough beds available). My age combined with my low rank and my year make me feel very displaced. It's a feeling that I seemingly cannot escape from no matter where I go. Ever since I dropped out of school in 10th grade I've had this feeling. I disconnected myself from the world too early and it stuck with me, and I'm not the type of person to try and act like those around me to fit in and feel connected - so I stay this way. I'm still trying to find a group of people that I fit in with, without feeling like I have to adapt. I guess I must be one little unique snowflake because I haven't found 'em yet.
They say you are who you hang out with, so what do you become when you've elected to be alone for so long? I believe that you become an amplification of your own thoughts, provided that there is no one continually talking with you and keeping your thoughts in check.
Anyways - I went to go see a man by the name of Ed Rensi speak. I listened, not only because he's 65 years old and loaded, but he was the former CEO of McDonald's for a long time and hilarious. I tend to listen more when older people speak, taking a more Eastern stance with them. Patience is key when doing that, because you'll have to put up with mumbling and falling asleep and whatnot. Not the case with this guy - he was really energetic and eloquent.
Ed Rensi told me to do at least these three things in life: Get a business card from every person you meet and write down, on the card, who they were so you create a web of contacts, journal everyday about everything going on with you so that you can write a book or something :D, and give back to community because being alone in life sucks. I'm going to do these things, and we'll see where it takes me.
A lot of things have changed at this place, but the underlying feelings remain the same. Such as feeling cold, due to waking up in 47degree weather and running out to early morning formations. However, it seems like everything that could be a complication became one that I had to resolve. It's a weird feeling going from having very little responsibility in Florida - waking up at 10am+, doing what I wanted for the day and night, and repeating the whole process for over a year - to this.
I haven't stopped moving since my arrival here, and I now find myself with a shortage of time in the days and a surplus of exhaustion to make for a deep sleep that *almost* replenishes my stamina so that I wake up just a little more tired each morning. However, this beats the pants off of sitting around and is exactly what I need to be doing right now - the end of undergrad is still in sight.
It's weird to be back because everyone that I knew is now a senior and I am with a sea of new people. I use the word 'sea' because admissions has seen a staggering increase in the number of students applying (I had to initially move into a temporary housing place because there weren't enough beds available). My age combined with my low rank and my year make me feel very displaced. It's a feeling that I seemingly cannot escape from no matter where I go. Ever since I dropped out of school in 10th grade I've had this feeling. I disconnected myself from the world too early and it stuck with me, and I'm not the type of person to try and act like those around me to fit in and feel connected - so I stay this way. I'm still trying to find a group of people that I fit in with, without feeling like I have to adapt. I guess I must be one little unique snowflake because I haven't found 'em yet.
They say you are who you hang out with, so what do you become when you've elected to be alone for so long? I believe that you become an amplification of your own thoughts, provided that there is no one continually talking with you and keeping your thoughts in check.
Anyways - I went to go see a man by the name of Ed Rensi speak. I listened, not only because he's 65 years old and loaded, but he was the former CEO of McDonald's for a long time and hilarious. I tend to listen more when older people speak, taking a more Eastern stance with them. Patience is key when doing that, because you'll have to put up with mumbling and falling asleep and whatnot. Not the case with this guy - he was really energetic and eloquent.
Ed Rensi told me to do at least these three things in life: Get a business card from every person you meet and write down, on the card, who they were so you create a web of contacts, journal everyday about everything going on with you so that you can write a book or something :D, and give back to community because being alone in life sucks. I'm going to do these things, and we'll see where it takes me.