update

[bigwhitehorse]

yeah so today my grandma went into the hospital...they think she had a stroke, i worry, of course...but it seems like she is doing better, i dont know whether to be happy that shes doing better, or sad that she has deteriorated as much as she has....it saddens me so much to see she cant do stuff she used to do, only a year or so ago...and it saddens me when i see her alone in that house without grandpa..she said she knew he was dying and that she had accepted it, but i dont think she wanted the loneliness..i feel like a horrible grand daughter, i mean why do i feel so horrible for wishing her less pain and for wishing she could be better? i guess its just cuz i cant visit her

*le sigh*