Bingo

[bigvividworld]

For the first time in my life, I won at bingo. Ok, I wasn't the first person to call bingo, but there were multiple prizes, and I won. What did I win? Well, I won a pair of Wahrsteiner sunglasses. (Wahrsteiner is a brand of German beer, btw). Downstairs in the hostel in Berlin where I'm staying, I called bingo at the same time as another

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Why A Zombie Onslaught Would Rox0r

[gloomchen]

In the middle of nowhere, there is a tiny midwestern town full of people whose idea of fun is listening to Nickelback and drinking Budweiser. Occasionally, they "mix it up a bit" and have a few Jagerbombs. Somewhere in the background lies a small girl dying for an ounce of culture. However, in the event that culture cannot be brought to this village, one can only relax on a second-story balcony and wait.

And that's when it happens. First, it's just one white minivan full of soccer children that swerves off the road to avoid something and into a piece of corporate art. As the doors open and the screaming crotch-droppings erupt, the source of the disruption starts picking them off one by one. Five minutes later, more white minivans crash. Red SUVs join them. The streets are alive with the smell of burning oil and twisted metal, with just a hint of decaying flesh.

Before it becomes too noticeably widespread, the girl grabs her phone and makes a quick call. "Yeah, my water heater, it's not working. Can you come look at it?"

Minutes later, she recognizes the blue sedan that speeds around to avoid the quickly-spreading mayhem, but it's too late. His vehicle is overtaken and he, too, is assimilated into one of the many empty-minded minions that has rapidly destroyed the downtown area of this burg.

The girl smiles. This means her lease is broken and her freedom is secured. Now, how to get to her cute little fuel-efficient Mazda so she can begin life anew in a land full of radness far, far away from the Creed and Toby Keith backwoods evil that has terrorized her existence for far too long.