(no subject)
I want to get away. I wish I had a car so that I could just go somewhere and be by myself for hours on end. I wish I atleast had one for a week, it just really sucks that I can't do anything that I want, when I want, and get things and do things that I need to do or get. I hate depending. I have depended on everyone else for so much, and I'm sick of it, I'm tired of people having to come to get me, I'm tired of asking people for rides, I'm tired of everything. I have a headache, I'm in my "mood" again, and all I want to do is scream and cry and get away from here for the longest time. Shit if I did have a car, I'd probably just go to the lake and sit for a week, go to Huntsville get anything I need and then turn around and come back home or sit back at the lake. I just need to get away. I've been couped up too long and I'm sick of it. I need to get a way by myself, away from here. I feel depressed again, I hate feeling like this because everyone else hates me being like this, they think it's all their fault when in all actuality it's mine. I hate myself for being like this, I hate myself period most of the time. I'm just sick of dpending on others for shit that don't involve them, why must I be the one that has to depend, why can't I be one of the lucky ones that can offer, that have so much to offer and just give out, instead I'm stuck here with nothing, just my legs and broke down personality.