Time for My Mid-Life Crisis!
Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. You can comment here or there.
First, as I hit the mid-stride of the afternoon of my 45th birthday, I have to note that I cannot remember spending any previous birthday shoveling snow. I’ve done a lot of different things on past St. Patrick’s Days. Some of them involved drinking, some involved being born, and some involved drinking to sufficient excess that I wished I hadn’t been (I’m looking at you, dear Ma’am), but none have involved shoveling. So, that’s a new thing.
New is not the same as good. Get this winter over with.
However, I think 45 should be more than just looking back, however fondly or blearily, at the years gone past. I’ve decided that I will not worry about all the things I have thus far failed to accomplish, all the almosts, all the maybes. I will not consider for one minute the fact that when John Keats was my age, he’d been dead 20 years. No. I shall keep my eyes due north, face forward into the wind, and imagine what comes next.
Based on statistics and actuarial tables, I can reasonably assume that I might live to 90, assuming a smooth downhill road and a good tailwind. That means that today marks my halfway point, my middle life.
So, Dear Friend, Fond Relation, and Gentle Reader, I ask you for input: What’s a good crisis to have? I’m ready for my mid-life crisis, and I’m entertaining ideas! Bungee jumping? Skydiving? Fast cars? Loose women? Pot is now available legally in 2 states, and I’ve never had any - is that a decent option for a mid-life crisis? Recreational alcoholism is old hat; nothing new there to try. My understanding of how this works is that I realize my own mortality and then try to distract myself from same by spending inordinate amounts of time and/or money on something I don’t usually do. Since there are thousands of things that I don’t usually do, the field is pretty open here. I want to keep the financial aspects of this crisis to a minimum, so please don’t suggest I start a Ferrari collection - unless you’re willing to donate the first one as a starter, in which case I’m all in.
So, what should I do for my mid-life crisis? All comments welcome!