ManFAQ Friday: Houseman Blues
Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. You can comment here or there.
Here we are on the Ides of March, and it’s answer time at the ManFAQ. Once again I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.
Like Caesar said, “What could go wrong?”
Question: Why does the maintenance guy assume you do the maintenance around the house? ”You might want to tell your husband to put the date on the new filters.” My husband wouldn’t know what the HVAC filter looked like if I broke it over his head - why is it automatically assumed that he changes it?
Answer: As much as I want to say, “Oh, no, he did NOT?” and do the whole neckrole thing like my friend Angie taught me, I can’t - not just because I’m whiter than chalk, but because it wouldn’t be credible. Of course the maintenance dude assumes the man around the house is doing the dirty, manly jobs that require strength and technical know how. After all, he’s there doing those things, and he’s a man. He just doesn’t realize that you’re the one holding the remote in your relationship, or that the track lighting wasn’t your idea.
Is there any end to these bitter questions of gender stereotyping? I sure hope not, or the ManFAQ would be out of a job. But in the meantime, let’s examine the motives of the maintenance dude. He’s there with you. We’ll assume you have a pulse, so it’s a safe bet that he’s already thought about what you’d be like in bed. In assuming out loud that it’s your husband who would be changing the air filters, he’s obliquely asked you if you have a husband.
Not to assume too much creepiness on the part of our probably innocent maintenance dude, but your safest answer is, “Oh, you can probably tell him yourself, he should be home any minute.” Another good answer might be, “I would, but I shot the son of a bitch last year, and serve him right, too.” I’m just saying, is all.
But it’s true, regardless of intent, most guys assume it’s the guy who’ll be servicing the equipment. If you know what I mean. He probably means it as a compliment - he can’t imagine you demeaning yourself to do something so base and low like changing that filter. You’re a domestic goddess in his eyes, charged only with writing his check and fueling his equipment-servicing fantasies later that evening.
Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD - at - biguglymandoll.com! As always, your anonymity is guaranteed!