Talk to the chocolate
Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.
The Reigning Queen of Pink was very upset tonight, and it devolved upon me to find out why. Since she’s allergic to chocolate and her older sister had made brownies earlier, this wasn’t really going to be a tough one.
I’ll digress here a moment: the brownies were dessert for the older two; the RQoP has her very own “chocolate pudding pops” that she had for an after dinner amuse bouche. SOBUMD makes these from bananas, avocados, agave nectar, carob powder, sea salt, and almond milk - and regardless of how that might sound, I assure you that they are, in fact, delicious. If you can’t have chocolate, this is a frozen heaven on a stick - plus you can have it for breakfast!
But no matter how good it is, the bottom line is that it tastes almost, but not completely, unlike chocolate brownies. Really, only chocolate brownies taste like chocolate brownies, and the Human Tape Recorder made these from scratch. (The only direction she asked for was “single recipe or double?” Atta girl.) So, the RQoP went upstairs not crying but certainly teary-eyed, and refusing to talk. To her credit, she didn’t ask - at this point, she knows the answer. Life is tough, and hers is often tougher than most, so I give her a lot of props for not asking, and not just wailing.
So I followed her up to tuck her in and try to jolly her a little, and remind her that she’s not alone in having allergies a little, and jolly her a little more. We had a brief discussion about the likely ability of the cat on her bed to eat her (high), and then I thought I’d try opening with a Socratic parable.
BUMD: “Do you like strawberries?”
RQoP: “Hmmmph.”
BUMD: “No, really, do you like them?”
RQoP: “Cut up with sugar on.”
BUMD: “Oh yes. Do you know, when I cut up strawberries for you and put sugar on them, I would love to eat one. Did you know that? I cut them up for you, and they smell so good, and they look so good, and I’d love to just pop just one of them in my mouth and eat it. But I don’t. Do you know why?”
RQoP: “Hmmmph.”
BUMD: “Because I’m allergic to strawberries. They’re not good for me, no matter how good they look or smell. But I still cut them up for you.”
RQoP: “Why don’t you just sneak just one?”
BUMD: “Because I’m allergic - they’re not good for me.”
RQoP: “Why are you telling me this? You should talk to your pediatrician!”
Oh, snap. No, I should talk to my therapist. At least she got a good laugh in before bed! In the meantime, if you have a recipe for egg-free, dairy-free, soy-free, corn-free, carob brownies, I’m all ears.