(no subject)
Things haven't been too hot lately.
I kind of became obstinate with God.
I had a lot of doubts, and I seriously wondered if he existed.
So I tried going back to whichever way I was before, and tried to take God out of everything.
It turns out I don't even remember how I was before, and I had no desire to be change back.
I truly made a mistake.
It reminds me of that verse in the bible, where it talks about the person who knows God, and abandons him, but when he does is worse off than before he knew God.
It just makes me realize how truly imperfect and flawed I am.
I've lost touch with my feelings, and I've had less emotional involvement in life for about 3 years now.
I hardy remember what I used to feel like back then.
I've been praying that God will give me back that emotional involvement.
The thing that hits me the worst is that what little emotional involvement I have is all in my car.
It isn't with people, or anything real.
For as much fun as I have with my car, that really sucks.
My insurance might drop me because of the ticket I got if I don't get the points lowered to 0 in court.
Then my insurance will go up a lot more, and I'll probably be classified as a high risk driver.
I'm going to be dishing out a lot of money and I don't even know if I'll have enough there.
I'm trying to stop attaching myself to tangible things, and focus on what's real.
I mean,
at most I'm only going to be here for what
60 years or so?
Eternity is much longer than that.
I've turned back to God, and things haven't been so great, but I thought about it.
What will be, will be.
And either way, it's going to be God's will that it happens.
So I shouldn't complain about anything, because in the end, I know something good will come with it.
Even through death of all things, which is inevitable, it'll only bring us closer to God.
I've been reading Genesis a lot lately, and about the life of Joseph, and Abraham.
Both of them were God fearing men.
In whatever circumstance, they obeyed God, even when it was rough.
I mean
sacrificing your own son.
That's much more than I've ever dealt with!
When Joseph was thrown into prison unrightly, he believed in God, and God didn't abandon him.
God rewarded him, ever so richly, because he remained faithful.
Draw close to God, and he'll draw close to you.
One of my closest friends put it well when he said to another friend,
" If you can find something better than following God, you should go after it. But for me, the best thing is following God.".
I don't want it to be any other way for me now, either.
I want to be a man like Joseph.
I mean
cmon.
My name is Joseph to begin with.
plz
I kind of became obstinate with God.
I had a lot of doubts, and I seriously wondered if he existed.
So I tried going back to whichever way I was before, and tried to take God out of everything.
It turns out I don't even remember how I was before, and I had no desire to be change back.
I truly made a mistake.
It reminds me of that verse in the bible, where it talks about the person who knows God, and abandons him, but when he does is worse off than before he knew God.
It just makes me realize how truly imperfect and flawed I am.
I've lost touch with my feelings, and I've had less emotional involvement in life for about 3 years now.
I hardy remember what I used to feel like back then.
I've been praying that God will give me back that emotional involvement.
The thing that hits me the worst is that what little emotional involvement I have is all in my car.
It isn't with people, or anything real.
For as much fun as I have with my car, that really sucks.
My insurance might drop me because of the ticket I got if I don't get the points lowered to 0 in court.
Then my insurance will go up a lot more, and I'll probably be classified as a high risk driver.
I'm going to be dishing out a lot of money and I don't even know if I'll have enough there.
I'm trying to stop attaching myself to tangible things, and focus on what's real.
I mean,
at most I'm only going to be here for what
60 years or so?
Eternity is much longer than that.
I've turned back to God, and things haven't been so great, but I thought about it.
What will be, will be.
And either way, it's going to be God's will that it happens.
So I shouldn't complain about anything, because in the end, I know something good will come with it.
Even through death of all things, which is inevitable, it'll only bring us closer to God.
I've been reading Genesis a lot lately, and about the life of Joseph, and Abraham.
Both of them were God fearing men.
In whatever circumstance, they obeyed God, even when it was rough.
I mean
sacrificing your own son.
That's much more than I've ever dealt with!
When Joseph was thrown into prison unrightly, he believed in God, and God didn't abandon him.
God rewarded him, ever so richly, because he remained faithful.
Draw close to God, and he'll draw close to you.
One of my closest friends put it well when he said to another friend,
" If you can find something better than following God, you should go after it. But for me, the best thing is following God.".
I don't want it to be any other way for me now, either.
I want to be a man like Joseph.
I mean
cmon.
My name is Joseph to begin with.
plz