A Pawn Named Jonathan
So, I got up this morning to go to a dentist appointment at 11. I get there, sit in the waiting room, the usual run of the mill nonsense. Eventually my name’s called, and I walk back with the dental assistant. I find out her name is Mandy. I then got to choose my flavor fluoride - cool! As tempting as the watermelon was, I opted for the mint and then had my teeth cleaned for the next half an hour. She was commenting that I have spectacular teeth, but all the Snapple I drink apparently could be destructive to my teeth in the long run. Bitch. Unprovoked, she launched into some story about how one of her boyfriends used to drink iced tea all the time, and she said, “I can’t date you because you have too much plaque.” It was then that it occurred to me that dental hygienists will most likely die alone.
Gigli (insert pronunciation here) is evidently so bad that a radio station in Boston is offering prizes to people that stay through the whole movie. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s worth it to drive six hours to see a crappy movie and get an “I survived Gigli” T-shirt, but you are entered to win a computer courtesy of Microsoft I hear… In any event, the movie can’t be as bad as everyone says - someone somewhere has to like it, and if it really is that bad, I have to be a part of the experience (Plus, my Regal corporate sellout card earns me a free popcorn, free soda, and free ticket the next time I see a movie.)
Which brings me to my next point. If any of you have been to the movies in the last week or so, you know that the movie theater across the street from the mall (United Artists turned Regal) now gives you the small part of the ticket back instead of the big part. Strange? Yes. Unnecessary? Absolutely. Familiar? More so than you think. Has the King of Prussia Theater now just become the theater at Oaks? All the employees are wearing the Regal hats, we endure the Twenty before our movies, we don’t get to do that cool simulated roller coaster ride anymore, and now they give us the small end of the ticket. All we have to show for it is some card that gives us free food and beverage. That's just a small step in my mind. It’s sad, but King of Prussia has now just become an Oaks remix.
twice-laid adj. : made from the ends of rope and strands of used rope
Not exactly the first definition that pops into your head, is it? Hopefully we all learned a little today.
Gigli (insert pronunciation here) is evidently so bad that a radio station in Boston is offering prizes to people that stay through the whole movie. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s worth it to drive six hours to see a crappy movie and get an “I survived Gigli” T-shirt, but you are entered to win a computer courtesy of Microsoft I hear… In any event, the movie can’t be as bad as everyone says - someone somewhere has to like it, and if it really is that bad, I have to be a part of the experience (Plus, my Regal corporate sellout card earns me a free popcorn, free soda, and free ticket the next time I see a movie.)
Which brings me to my next point. If any of you have been to the movies in the last week or so, you know that the movie theater across the street from the mall (United Artists turned Regal) now gives you the small part of the ticket back instead of the big part. Strange? Yes. Unnecessary? Absolutely. Familiar? More so than you think. Has the King of Prussia Theater now just become the theater at Oaks? All the employees are wearing the Regal hats, we endure the Twenty before our movies, we don’t get to do that cool simulated roller coaster ride anymore, and now they give us the small end of the ticket. All we have to show for it is some card that gives us free food and beverage. That's just a small step in my mind. It’s sad, but King of Prussia has now just become an Oaks remix.
twice-laid adj. : made from the ends of rope and strands of used rope
Not exactly the first definition that pops into your head, is it? Hopefully we all learned a little today.