It's like the big crappy pile of stuff you don't want to be are required to do.
You stand before it cursing it dreading the moments to come, prehaps even recounting the many was that this in fact sucks donkey. Then you stop and just get to work.
I feel like my life is the same way, I get down on it, really down and before I can even post about it I get busy or I just get on with it. It's now the weekend and direct opposite of how one should feel about the weekend, I am dread it. I know what tomorrow will bring. Nothing new, no wonder no real joy. I will wake up around the same time I normally do, I will leave around 8 am to go to the grocery store. I will buy the same things listening to the same Podcast. I will look for the same cachier, I will say the same thing, I will think and feel the same thing and bag my groceries and go home. I will watch TV and fall asleep druing the middle of the day if I am not invited to the one place I get invited to. I will reflect on the day later and say what I should have done instead of what I did.
Routines are fine, don't get me wrong I NEED them but is void of joy. I say I want to play some games, take my mind off things but I don't and everything I want to do I can find several problems with it.
Then there is coming home, I just don't want to rather I can get in and not run into crap or not I just don't want to. Add to it the one thing I absolutely love at home I am extreamly worried about. Sara, she is scared of everything now, she use to be fearless. She harly comes into the room and she has been moping around. I try to cheer here up and it just doesn't work. I try furiously and it seems to work but the next day its back to the same. I suspect its my mother but there is nothing I can do about it yet. I have talked to her before and I will talk to her again and she will deny it and I will tell her I don't believe you.
Yep. Tired of wallowing in it and its time to just jump in again. I will say this, I feel like a tool, an actual tool not a metaphorical tool. I am rested over night to me taken out my casein the morning used all day and rested overnight again, its all I'm good for. One would say the anser is you need to get out, but ah, there is that whole many problems with that issue. Maybe later.
aaaaaand I'm too lazy to fix my illiterate spelling.
I feel like my life is the same way, I get down on it, really down and before I can even post about it I get busy or I just get on with it. It's now the weekend and direct opposite of how one should feel about the weekend, I am dread it. I know what tomorrow will bring. Nothing new, no wonder no real joy. I will wake up around the same time I normally do, I will leave around 8 am to go to the grocery store. I will buy the same things listening to the same Podcast. I will look for the same cachier, I will say the same thing, I will think and feel the same thing and bag my groceries and go home. I will watch TV and fall asleep druing the middle of the day if I am not invited to the one place I get invited to. I will reflect on the day later and say what I should have done instead of what I did.
Routines are fine, don't get me wrong I NEED them but is void of joy. I say I want to play some games, take my mind off things but I don't and everything I want to do I can find several problems with it.
Then there is coming home, I just don't want to rather I can get in and not run into crap or not I just don't want to. Add to it the one thing I absolutely love at home I am extreamly worried about. Sara, she is scared of everything now, she use to be fearless. She harly comes into the room and she has been moping around. I try to cheer here up and it just doesn't work. I try furiously and it seems to work but the next day its back to the same. I suspect its my mother but there is nothing I can do about it yet. I have talked to her before and I will talk to her again and she will deny it and I will tell her I don't believe you.
Yep. Tired of wallowing in it and its time to just jump in again. I will say this, I feel like a tool, an actual tool not a metaphorical tool. I am rested over night to me taken out my casein the morning used all day and rested overnight again, its all I'm good for. One would say the anser is you need to get out, but ah, there is that whole many problems with that issue. Maybe later.
aaaaaand I'm too lazy to fix my illiterate spelling.