Sunday, Sunday
Finally started to recoup from the Canoe Camp. Paul and I rode up together on Saturday morning because he had a concert to go to on Friday night. We have been good friends since 1995 and that time we spent on the way up and back was needed. We have had some good times and I know that he is a true friend. For awhile there, I am pretty sure that we kept the major breweries in business!! HA HA HA We used to go to bars and both of us would order beer by the pitcher, that was our mug!!! YIKES, how we made it home some of those nights is beyond me. Thank GOD we were being watched over. We had a nice long talk about a lot of things and it felt good. Anyway, it is always a good thing to get around friends but this weekend there were a few things tugging at my heart strings. First off, John is over in Kuwait watching the sand dunes grow. Second, Amanda and I have still not talked. Now I will talk about these things in detail. . . . . . . .
Johnny in Kuwait. Yes, he is serving our country and out of harms way for the most part. It only takes one person over there to mess things up. He says he is bored and the rest of his unit feels the same, but Paul and I are just praying that he stays where it is boring and "safe". Anyway, JOhn was a part of canoe camp last year and he had a blast. Literally!! He was making "bombs" out of the heating packet from MRE's and water in 1 Liter soda bottles. That crazy bastard :) In a fitting tribute, Paulie made a toast when all of the canoes were on the river and we started our journey. That was the first time during the day I had to fight back tears. Good thing we were on the water and dunking my hat over my head full of water kept me with the "wet look".
Amanda and I. There still has been no talking. I did send her an email on Friday to tell her how I feel but there has been no response. I know most of you are thinking an email is impersonal, but she asked for space and I am respecting that. So much of me wants to go over to her place and tell her what I have been thinking but there is a part of me that is keeping me home. It is still driving me nuts and sleeping is still hit an miss. There was a point at Canoe Camp where one of my buddies was telling me how good I had it with her and I just stared at the fire and agreed with him. Another time I had to fight back tears. My friends know I am emotional but I don't know how many of them have ever seen me break down. For all intent and purpose, Amanda is the woman I love until she tells me she doesn't want my love. She is what I have been looking for all of these years and now, she is not here because of my actions. What an asshole I am.
Another thing that happened this weekend was me talking to fellow Canoe Camper Conrad. He also has MS and it was good for me to hear what he has been dealing with over the passed 10 years. My diagnosis was in March of this year and I feel that I have handled OK it for the most part. He is not on any drugs where I am on a drug that requires me to inject myself 3 times a week. That lucky bastard. As a reassurance he said that I can call him any time if I need to talk. That is awesome to know.
Well kids, that is about all for now. Have a good week. One day at a time.
Johnny in Kuwait. Yes, he is serving our country and out of harms way for the most part. It only takes one person over there to mess things up. He says he is bored and the rest of his unit feels the same, but Paul and I are just praying that he stays where it is boring and "safe". Anyway, JOhn was a part of canoe camp last year and he had a blast. Literally!! He was making "bombs" out of the heating packet from MRE's and water in 1 Liter soda bottles. That crazy bastard :) In a fitting tribute, Paulie made a toast when all of the canoes were on the river and we started our journey. That was the first time during the day I had to fight back tears. Good thing we were on the water and dunking my hat over my head full of water kept me with the "wet look".
Amanda and I. There still has been no talking. I did send her an email on Friday to tell her how I feel but there has been no response. I know most of you are thinking an email is impersonal, but she asked for space and I am respecting that. So much of me wants to go over to her place and tell her what I have been thinking but there is a part of me that is keeping me home. It is still driving me nuts and sleeping is still hit an miss. There was a point at Canoe Camp where one of my buddies was telling me how good I had it with her and I just stared at the fire and agreed with him. Another time I had to fight back tears. My friends know I am emotional but I don't know how many of them have ever seen me break down. For all intent and purpose, Amanda is the woman I love until she tells me she doesn't want my love. She is what I have been looking for all of these years and now, she is not here because of my actions. What an asshole I am.
Another thing that happened this weekend was me talking to fellow Canoe Camper Conrad. He also has MS and it was good for me to hear what he has been dealing with over the passed 10 years. My diagnosis was in March of this year and I feel that I have handled OK it for the most part. He is not on any drugs where I am on a drug that requires me to inject myself 3 times a week. That lucky bastard. As a reassurance he said that I can call him any time if I need to talk. That is awesome to know.
Well kids, that is about all for now. Have a good week. One day at a time.