Forgiveness

[bigrobboy]

Do you ever find it hard to grasp forgiveness. I don't mean forgiveness in God's eyes, but in just in your life, forgiving those who do you wrong. I don't just mean little things to forgive. I mean big things like break ups, and really big mistakes, not like a mean joke you wish you could take back or a fight.I think that is something I am awful at. I don't like to let things go. I have a hard time moving on from some things. I mean I can forgive my dad for the past and his mistakes because he said he was sorry. And I can forgive my sisters for the torture the caused, but I mean the people who don't apology or do it to save face. As in, they don't really mean it. Like people who may have broken your heart, and never said oh yeah my bad I wish I hadn't. Could you forgive someone who killed your loved one? Could you forgive the terrorist who committed 9-11? Could you forgive the person who raped your friend? I don't know if I could. Like if I were god, would allow them into paradise if they said sorry I ruined some many lives. But that is why I am not the creator of the universe. But in our life, can we really let things go. I was watching 28 days, I know its a girl's movie but my mom wanted to watch it. And Sandra Bullocks character had a hard time forgiving her mother for her past which lead to alcoholism. I see a lot of her character in lots of people I know and myself. How easy it to blaim others and not forgive, so we never change. I think a lot of my problems stem from the fact I can't fully forgive someone. I mean I can except apology, but sometimes I wonder if they have hidden agendas. I know that I felf awful after talking with Stephanie the night of our brake up and I said I was sorry. ANd I believer I truely meant it, but I woulnd't blaim her for not excepting it because its so easy to say your sorry, but its hard to mean it. They were joking about it tonight on the simpsons, bart was talking about how he can fake apologies. Its really easy to say I am sorry. I think it takes a real man to mean it and except it. I really think we all need to learn to forgive. But man I don't know if I could forgive someone for killing my child or my mother. Could you forgive your wife for sleeping around? Most importantly, can your forgive yourself for your mistakes. Can you let go of the things you wish you never did. We all have baggage. And its really easy to carry it with us all our lives and blaim it for us going so slow in life. If we could just check it and forgive ourselves and others, maybe we could live a better life. I think that is what i like most about christianity. I mean real christianity. What I believe the bible is teaching is not a warning but a path to forgiveness in our lives not just the after life. I believe christ wanted to show the world that everyone sins, and we need to learn to stop sinning but mostly importantly to forgive each other for our mistakes. At first all I show in the south were people who didn't want to forgive others, but preach to them. I believe they have lost their way, and I think i have learned to forgive them. I think some people have taken the wrong route. Instead of preaching forgiveness as something we need to beg for, I wish it could be taught that jesus forgive those hurt him. Who ruined his father's world, and murdered him. That if he could forgive them as god can, we need to forgive everyone around us. I don't think I can do after I write this, or in a year, or 2. It takes time to change. I don't need to judge others as in I don't need to put out their wrong and not be able to own up to mean. I shouldn't point it out unless its to help them.

I am sorry I ramble, can you forgive?