Life
Mmkay. I just got back from bowling (best part of my day) and I've been thinking a lot lately. I feel pretty lost. My two best friends live a bajillion miles away from me and I never see them. My boyfriend lives a bajillion miles away from me and I never see him. I have no one I'm really "close" to here. And I have no time to go and visit all the people I'd like to visit. Most of what I want to express is kept in my head. As a result, I find that when I actually have the opportunity to talk to people, I say really pointless things like "good times" and "yeah, me too." Crap that has no meaning. And then I end up feeling like I just annoyed the crap out of everyone that just had a "conversation" with me and now I've more to say than I did when we started. What the heck.
ANYWAYS... I have no life. AND I have no time. How this works, I don't quite know, but in an attempt to sum it up: I go to Meredith. We have loads of two things: homework and rules. We also lack two things: testosterone and fun. This is where I've always wanted to go. These simple facts do not make me unhappy or bring out a desire to leave, they are simply facts, reasons for me to justify the way I feel. I'm completely retarded. Oh wells.
Today, I had a history test first thing in the morning. I woke up at 9, finished my english homework (which was never even taken up for a grade), ate breakfast so that I didn't die, dropped off mail, signed up for an RA interview, and then I went to study for my test. At 11, the test began. At 12, English began. 1 is lunch time with the best group of girls on campus. 2 is core. 3:30 is bowling. This is my day. And now I'm here.
Perhaps I have no clue where I'm going with this. Part of me thinks that I'm sitting here wasting away time because I have to study for a chemistry exam. But, then again, I need to sort all this crap out. I have an ex-boyfriend who keeps asking me for help with some new chick (awk). I have my insane mother. I have more homework than I would ever care to do. I have all this stuff and yet I get to feeling like I have nothing. Sometimes I think I over-look it all and miss what's really important.
And that's what brings me to here. I've always been optimistic, there is a good side to everything, but I look too much toward the future. It's good to keep the long-term plan in mind, but you can't win a war without considering the battles. Life is short. I need to live. And I need to study for my chemistry test.
Wow... Iiiiiiiiiii'm dumb
ANYWAYS... I have no life. AND I have no time. How this works, I don't quite know, but in an attempt to sum it up: I go to Meredith. We have loads of two things: homework and rules. We also lack two things: testosterone and fun. This is where I've always wanted to go. These simple facts do not make me unhappy or bring out a desire to leave, they are simply facts, reasons for me to justify the way I feel. I'm completely retarded. Oh wells.
Today, I had a history test first thing in the morning. I woke up at 9, finished my english homework (which was never even taken up for a grade), ate breakfast so that I didn't die, dropped off mail, signed up for an RA interview, and then I went to study for my test. At 11, the test began. At 12, English began. 1 is lunch time with the best group of girls on campus. 2 is core. 3:30 is bowling. This is my day. And now I'm here.
Perhaps I have no clue where I'm going with this. Part of me thinks that I'm sitting here wasting away time because I have to study for a chemistry exam. But, then again, I need to sort all this crap out. I have an ex-boyfriend who keeps asking me for help with some new chick (awk). I have my insane mother. I have more homework than I would ever care to do. I have all this stuff and yet I get to feeling like I have nothing. Sometimes I think I over-look it all and miss what's really important.
And that's what brings me to here. I've always been optimistic, there is a good side to everything, but I look too much toward the future. It's good to keep the long-term plan in mind, but you can't win a war without considering the battles. Life is short. I need to live. And I need to study for my chemistry test.
Wow... Iiiiiiiiiii'm dumb