After 3 years of silence
I miss this. I miss the vague sort-of interaction one feels at blogging. Maybe I've just spent too much time in my own head today and I need to get something out into a semi-public venue, but the shame of spending all your 9a.m.s asleep for so long is that you don't know what to do when you see one awake for no good reason.
As in, I don't want to have to explain to any of my daytime friends what the hell I'm doing awake at this hour.
As in, I don't know what the hell normal folks do now besides work.
As in, for once in so long writing in a journal only I'll ever read isn't good enough.
So, I spend an hour and a half in the morning surfing on the internet, and the search for some word I learned one day and forgot about led me to my livejournal to see if I had posted it here sometime in 2005.
I didn't, if anybody reads this and cares.
But so long perusing old stuff I had put down and the things my "friends" (I only use quotations because the roster of my blog's friends doesn't encompass the roster of friends as I know them traditionally) had said about them made me wistful and gave me some realizations.
1) I'm a much better writer now.
2) I was a real ass in those days, but not in the upfront sort of way I'm an ass now, in a shitty passive-aggressive way where I make myself sound smart instead of listening to criticism. I'm sorry to everyone I offended with my old assery.
3) There actually is a positive to this sort of communication. It lets us have meaningful conversations we can't be bothered to make time for.
So yeah, meaningful shit I can't make time to discuss around busy schedules:
Walking half an hour to get cigarettes makes the nicotine sweeter.
Sleep is overrated.
I get frustrated when I can't solve a problem I present myself.
I'm depressed that I can't remember song lyrics when I'm walking alone and not listening to the music.
("Piano Man" is a lot shorter without any accompaniment.)
Loneliness is my greatest fear.
I need to flex my mind-muscle. Someone provoke me.
(Ha ha. As if anyone is actually reading this.)
Edit: Ossify-- to become bone or harden like bone. "Bridges, Squares" by Ted Leo
As in, I don't want to have to explain to any of my daytime friends what the hell I'm doing awake at this hour.
As in, I don't know what the hell normal folks do now besides work.
As in, for once in so long writing in a journal only I'll ever read isn't good enough.
So, I spend an hour and a half in the morning surfing on the internet, and the search for some word I learned one day and forgot about led me to my livejournal to see if I had posted it here sometime in 2005.
I didn't, if anybody reads this and cares.
But so long perusing old stuff I had put down and the things my "friends" (I only use quotations because the roster of my blog's friends doesn't encompass the roster of friends as I know them traditionally) had said about them made me wistful and gave me some realizations.
1) I'm a much better writer now.
2) I was a real ass in those days, but not in the upfront sort of way I'm an ass now, in a shitty passive-aggressive way where I make myself sound smart instead of listening to criticism. I'm sorry to everyone I offended with my old assery.
3) There actually is a positive to this sort of communication. It lets us have meaningful conversations we can't be bothered to make time for.
So yeah, meaningful shit I can't make time to discuss around busy schedules:
Walking half an hour to get cigarettes makes the nicotine sweeter.
Sleep is overrated.
I get frustrated when I can't solve a problem I present myself.
I'm depressed that I can't remember song lyrics when I'm walking alone and not listening to the music.
("Piano Man" is a lot shorter without any accompaniment.)
Loneliness is my greatest fear.
I need to flex my mind-muscle. Someone provoke me.
(Ha ha. As if anyone is actually reading this.)
Edit: Ossify-- to become bone or harden like bone. "Bridges, Squares" by Ted Leo