Our Fair Cruise
I suppose I should write something about the cruise we just went on.
Last year, Fred and I were looking into our Big Annual Trip With Friends after having such great trips to Burning Man, Barcelona, and Provincetown in years gone by. We narrowed it down to another trip to Provincetown (where we had, IMHO, our best vacation) or the "Lazy Bear" Mexican Riviera cruise, from Long Beach to Mexico, with stops in Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. Neither of us had been on a cruise before, so it seemed to be the right fit. We told a few friends (including boyshapedbox and had a group of at least 14 that we knew from San Francisco.
Our friends The Scotts, Fred and I drove down to Long Beach to stay with our friend Matt who was also going on the cruise with us, and while we had planned to go out the night before disembarking, we ended up having a quiet night in, and drive down to the docks the next morning. Our ship was The Norwegian Star, and we knew going in that this would be a very informal cruise, where you don't necessarily have to 1) dress formally, and 2) have assigned dinner. They call it "Freestyling Cruising", where you can basically eat whenever you want, and there's no pressure to bring a tuxedo or suit. This was a perfect fit for us.
The boat:
We decided to splurge a little and get ourselves a mini-suite with a balcony
A taste of our room (with special guests Matt and Paul):
And as it turns out, we were only about 20 feet and a small flight of stairs away from the main pool deck. Can you guess where we were every day?
The main deck:
Though the cruise was billed to us as a "Lazy Bear Cruise", it was essentially an RSVP gay cruise, so we knew going in it wasn't going to be 100% bears, and that (I think) was a good thing. The boat was actually at about 55% capacity (everyone's hurting these days it seems), which was both a good (less crowded, no lines to the bars) and bad (read: bar servers constantly up in your mix trying to get you drunker). And of that 55%, it seemed about 20-25% of those were there for the bear cruise, which was just about right. Now, this was my first cruise, but given what I have heard about Atlantis versus RSVP, Atlantis is more of a circuit party, where the dancing and parties don't stop. RSVP seemed a little more "couples focused", which was fine by me. But that's not to take away from our cruise...the dances were all excellent! djrottenrobbie spun at a few T-dances, and we had a good time at them.
Some shots of the "Mellow Yellow Retro T-Dance", the "Leather Party Dance", and the "Hot Tamale T-Dance":
We came VERY prepared for the Mellow Yellow dance, with The Scotts picking up matching outfits for us to wear:
We had stops in Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. The weather was beautiful in Cabo, but I had decided pretty early on that I was going to take that day to simply sit on the boat and relax in the sun. And I did absolutely nothing that day but read a book and order drinks. It was actually kind of awesome to have nothing to do, no plans at all. In Mazatlan, Fred, The Scotts and I did a shore excursion to a quiet little area called Stones Beach, with promises of "the only pool in Mazatlan", plus an open bar and lunch. Well, the open bar was nice if not limited (cervazas, margaritas and rum punch, made the Mazatlan way...LOL), the pool had a bit of a film on it, with more than a few minnows living in it (LOL) and the weather was gray and overcast. Not the ideal excursion.
Some of the other folks traveling with us on the excursion were complaining about it, but for us, it was kind of like a great San Francisco day...grey overhead but warm enough to be in the sun and enjoy it. The lunch was excellent though, and the staff was friendly and nice. They even brought out a bear pinata, and after several people took a whack (including a lesbian who knocked one of its' legs off), I brought back all my "mad softball skillz" and beat the crap out of that pinata.
While the other guys went for a little horseback ride (I love horses, but my last ride on a horse as a child likely ensured it will be my last), I relaxed on a beach chair and got to chatting with a fun couple from DC. After the guys got back from their ride, we walked down to the water, which was NOT warm, maybe a couple of degrees warmer than the ocean from SF. What the hell happened to the warm Mexican waters I was promised? Well, we had to wait until the next day's stop in Puerto Vallarta to get those. At least the sun broke through the clouds at the end of our excursion, so by the time we got back to the boat, it was nice enough to sit out at the pool and ride some waterslides. Waterslides you say? Yes.
The next day, we woke up to a beautiful (and hot) day in Puerto Vallarta, and decided since we hadn't booked any excursions, Fred, Paul, Matt and I would head straight over to the big gay resort at The Blue Chairs. We got front row seating, which made for a beautiful view, but it also meant that every vendor selling a Mexican wrestling mask, sarong, or blanket was front and center hocking their wares all day long. Which, you know, is fine. People have to earn a living, and the drunker you get off Miami Vices (part Pina Colada, part Strawberry Daiquiri), the more enticing those souvenirs look. I am proud to say I only bought a blanket (a housewarming gift) and a sunglasses holder for my mom.
The guys all went parasailing but I decided to stay on land this trip out (I did it in Jamaica back in 1998, and I lifted off the back of the boat. It felt safer to me than going off the beach...LOL). But the guys had a ton of fun doing it.
The day was absolutely incredible. Met quite a few people in the water, some who were on the boat, and some who just happened to be staying in Puerto Vallarta that week. The ocean was about 70 degrees, perfect for swimming, and a perfect day for me to break out my Mexican Beach outfit.
(Got so many compliments on it, especially from some locals who wanted to know where I bought the shirt. San Francisco!)
At the end of the day, there was a special rooftop party for the Lazy Bear Cruisers, with another open bar. When we got to the rooftop, there was a pool with people in it, excellent (if slightly watered down) margaritas, and go-go dancers who were, to any other crowd, smoking hot. To a bunch of bears? Well, let's just say the target audience was underwhelmed. Tips were meager. Since I was getting drunk enough, I decided to jump on the ledge and a little go-go-dancing. Made about $15 in tips, which I handed over to the real go go dancers, who weren't getting the love.
We all headed back to the boat shortly afterwards in a pretty drunken state.
The next two days we were out at sea, making our way back up the coast towards Long Beach. Thursday was a beautiful day, a perfect day for a swimsuit competition, which I entered with my lifeguard ensemble:
Fred, Paul, and I, with our Fabulous MC Paul J Williams
I should stop and really say something about Paul Williams. He was hilarious. He ran the first and last Sisters' Bingo in the main auditorium, various contests on deck, and also played Edna Garrett in the "Facts of Life Unseen Episode" play they put on the second to last night we were there. Aside from Paul (who was great as Garrett), the less said about the really, really bad "episode", the better! But Paul was hilarious at all times, very quick and smart. Unfortunately, while the weather was sunny, we were also heading into the wind, so it was much cooler on Thursday, if not outright chilly at moments. The hot tamale dance on Thursday was attended while wearing a sweatshirt.
The one thing I noticed about the cruise is that everything is really on a schedule, and my schedule was all out of whack because I had neglected a bring a watch on (I use my iPhone to check time during the day, but that was mostly turned off during the cruise so I wouldn't come back to an obscene roaming charge bill when we got home. So there were times of the day where we would walk onto the deck of the ship and it was a ghost town. No one in the hot tubs or at the bars, nada. But 20 minutes later, the thing that was going on somewhere on the ship would let out and everything would be packed again. Part of me feels like I missed a bunch of stuff everyday, and the other part of me came back with a tan. LOL
On our last day out at sea, the previous day's wind had turned cold and gray. it was really the only bad weather we had all trip. The deck was empty of sunbathers, all looking for other things to do on the last day aside from packing. The Scotts had kindly thought to bring a deck of Hello Kitty Uno cards, so about 10 of headed down to the Red Lion Pub to drink and have a lively game of Hello Kitty Uno. There were prizes for the winners, and the current winner of the prior round got to wear the tiara. Yep, that's right. I won a round.
Actually, the Hello Kitty game was probably one of the most fun things we did on the trip. That's not to say there wasn't a lot of other fun things going on, but it was sweet to gather so many people at the end of the trip. It was also a quietly raucous way to end the trip with friends, both new (like Travis and Skip from Phoenix, Chris and Mike from Texas, and Brian from Louisiana) and old (the inimitable tonymorg among others).
Our end of the trip "bar bill" turned out to me much, much less than either of us were expecting, (especially considering the number of bars where we depleted their stock of Patron Silver), which made the last night a little bit happier as well (and we made sure to do some last minute bar damage there...another bottle of Patron consumed)! The next morning, we woke up and made our way back to Matt's house in Long Beach. The motion sickness I was prepared for all trip with magnetic wristbands and Dramamine never surfaced...until we were on land. I caught some waves while taking a shower, and Fred was so sick on Saturday, that we were worried about how we were going to manage the drive back home on Sunday. I was really bummed that we missed mattycub and zombietruckstop's nuptials, but given how Fred was feeling, it was a good thing we had bowed out a month earlier.
The drive home the next day was more manageable than we had expected, but Fred had "land legs" all week long. And what finally cured him last Friday? A shot of Patron Silver (after a week of nausea...poor baby). ;)
I don't think either of us got the "cruise bug" that some people tell you about. I mean, it was a cheaper trip than either of us had expected overall, and we ate extremely well (the French and Italian restaurants on board were highlights of the week, though I became very partial to the diner on the 7th deck, open at any time of the day with all sorts of deep-fried goodness. Yes, I gained 16 pounds on the cruise. No shit.) But when you think about the money that you spend for that kind of venture, it makes you wonder where else you could go. We'll definitely do another cruise, but another one next year? Not so sure about that right now.
I know I'm missing a ton of other things that happened on the boat, like being bored and watching Twilight the last night of the cruise (holy crap, people liked this movie?), or seeing Debbie Reynolds' Vegas Act (which was kind of funny, but really reminiscent of watching Shirley Maclaine in Postcards From the Edge), but for the most part, it was just a week to relax and recuperate, to recharge the batteries, with very little agenda but enjoying the sun and our friends. And I think we accomplished that, by all accounts.
So now I'm pondering 2010's Big Annual Trip With Friends. Any suggestions? Right now, I'm leaning towards the Gay Games in Cologne with a healthy dash of London and Amsterdam in the middle.
Last year, Fred and I were looking into our Big Annual Trip With Friends after having such great trips to Burning Man, Barcelona, and Provincetown in years gone by. We narrowed it down to another trip to Provincetown (where we had, IMHO, our best vacation) or the "Lazy Bear" Mexican Riviera cruise, from Long Beach to Mexico, with stops in Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. Neither of us had been on a cruise before, so it seemed to be the right fit. We told a few friends (including boyshapedbox and had a group of at least 14 that we knew from San Francisco.
Our friends The Scotts, Fred and I drove down to Long Beach to stay with our friend Matt who was also going on the cruise with us, and while we had planned to go out the night before disembarking, we ended up having a quiet night in, and drive down to the docks the next morning. Our ship was The Norwegian Star, and we knew going in that this would be a very informal cruise, where you don't necessarily have to 1) dress formally, and 2) have assigned dinner. They call it "Freestyling Cruising", where you can basically eat whenever you want, and there's no pressure to bring a tuxedo or suit. This was a perfect fit for us.
The boat:
We decided to splurge a little and get ourselves a mini-suite with a balcony
A taste of our room (with special guests Matt and Paul):
And as it turns out, we were only about 20 feet and a small flight of stairs away from the main pool deck. Can you guess where we were every day?
The main deck:
Though the cruise was billed to us as a "Lazy Bear Cruise", it was essentially an RSVP gay cruise, so we knew going in it wasn't going to be 100% bears, and that (I think) was a good thing. The boat was actually at about 55% capacity (everyone's hurting these days it seems), which was both a good (less crowded, no lines to the bars) and bad (read: bar servers constantly up in your mix trying to get you drunker). And of that 55%, it seemed about 20-25% of those were there for the bear cruise, which was just about right. Now, this was my first cruise, but given what I have heard about Atlantis versus RSVP, Atlantis is more of a circuit party, where the dancing and parties don't stop. RSVP seemed a little more "couples focused", which was fine by me. But that's not to take away from our cruise...the dances were all excellent! djrottenrobbie spun at a few T-dances, and we had a good time at them.
Some shots of the "Mellow Yellow Retro T-Dance", the "Leather Party Dance", and the "Hot Tamale T-Dance":
We came VERY prepared for the Mellow Yellow dance, with The Scotts picking up matching outfits for us to wear:
We had stops in Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. The weather was beautiful in Cabo, but I had decided pretty early on that I was going to take that day to simply sit on the boat and relax in the sun. And I did absolutely nothing that day but read a book and order drinks. It was actually kind of awesome to have nothing to do, no plans at all. In Mazatlan, Fred, The Scotts and I did a shore excursion to a quiet little area called Stones Beach, with promises of "the only pool in Mazatlan", plus an open bar and lunch. Well, the open bar was nice if not limited (cervazas, margaritas and rum punch, made the Mazatlan way...LOL), the pool had a bit of a film on it, with more than a few minnows living in it (LOL) and the weather was gray and overcast. Not the ideal excursion.
Some of the other folks traveling with us on the excursion were complaining about it, but for us, it was kind of like a great San Francisco day...grey overhead but warm enough to be in the sun and enjoy it. The lunch was excellent though, and the staff was friendly and nice. They even brought out a bear pinata, and after several people took a whack (including a lesbian who knocked one of its' legs off), I brought back all my "mad softball skillz" and beat the crap out of that pinata.
While the other guys went for a little horseback ride (I love horses, but my last ride on a horse as a child likely ensured it will be my last), I relaxed on a beach chair and got to chatting with a fun couple from DC. After the guys got back from their ride, we walked down to the water, which was NOT warm, maybe a couple of degrees warmer than the ocean from SF. What the hell happened to the warm Mexican waters I was promised? Well, we had to wait until the next day's stop in Puerto Vallarta to get those. At least the sun broke through the clouds at the end of our excursion, so by the time we got back to the boat, it was nice enough to sit out at the pool and ride some waterslides. Waterslides you say? Yes.
The next day, we woke up to a beautiful (and hot) day in Puerto Vallarta, and decided since we hadn't booked any excursions, Fred, Paul, Matt and I would head straight over to the big gay resort at The Blue Chairs. We got front row seating, which made for a beautiful view, but it also meant that every vendor selling a Mexican wrestling mask, sarong, or blanket was front and center hocking their wares all day long. Which, you know, is fine. People have to earn a living, and the drunker you get off Miami Vices (part Pina Colada, part Strawberry Daiquiri), the more enticing those souvenirs look. I am proud to say I only bought a blanket (a housewarming gift) and a sunglasses holder for my mom.
The guys all went parasailing but I decided to stay on land this trip out (I did it in Jamaica back in 1998, and I lifted off the back of the boat. It felt safer to me than going off the beach...LOL). But the guys had a ton of fun doing it.
The day was absolutely incredible. Met quite a few people in the water, some who were on the boat, and some who just happened to be staying in Puerto Vallarta that week. The ocean was about 70 degrees, perfect for swimming, and a perfect day for me to break out my Mexican Beach outfit.
(Got so many compliments on it, especially from some locals who wanted to know where I bought the shirt. San Francisco!)
At the end of the day, there was a special rooftop party for the Lazy Bear Cruisers, with another open bar. When we got to the rooftop, there was a pool with people in it, excellent (if slightly watered down) margaritas, and go-go dancers who were, to any other crowd, smoking hot. To a bunch of bears? Well, let's just say the target audience was underwhelmed. Tips were meager. Since I was getting drunk enough, I decided to jump on the ledge and a little go-go-dancing. Made about $15 in tips, which I handed over to the real go go dancers, who weren't getting the love.
We all headed back to the boat shortly afterwards in a pretty drunken state.
The next two days we were out at sea, making our way back up the coast towards Long Beach. Thursday was a beautiful day, a perfect day for a swimsuit competition, which I entered with my lifeguard ensemble:
Fred, Paul, and I, with our Fabulous MC Paul J Williams
I should stop and really say something about Paul Williams. He was hilarious. He ran the first and last Sisters' Bingo in the main auditorium, various contests on deck, and also played Edna Garrett in the "Facts of Life Unseen Episode" play they put on the second to last night we were there. Aside from Paul (who was great as Garrett), the less said about the really, really bad "episode", the better! But Paul was hilarious at all times, very quick and smart. Unfortunately, while the weather was sunny, we were also heading into the wind, so it was much cooler on Thursday, if not outright chilly at moments. The hot tamale dance on Thursday was attended while wearing a sweatshirt.
The one thing I noticed about the cruise is that everything is really on a schedule, and my schedule was all out of whack because I had neglected a bring a watch on (I use my iPhone to check time during the day, but that was mostly turned off during the cruise so I wouldn't come back to an obscene roaming charge bill when we got home. So there were times of the day where we would walk onto the deck of the ship and it was a ghost town. No one in the hot tubs or at the bars, nada. But 20 minutes later, the thing that was going on somewhere on the ship would let out and everything would be packed again. Part of me feels like I missed a bunch of stuff everyday, and the other part of me came back with a tan. LOL
On our last day out at sea, the previous day's wind had turned cold and gray. it was really the only bad weather we had all trip. The deck was empty of sunbathers, all looking for other things to do on the last day aside from packing. The Scotts had kindly thought to bring a deck of Hello Kitty Uno cards, so about 10 of headed down to the Red Lion Pub to drink and have a lively game of Hello Kitty Uno. There were prizes for the winners, and the current winner of the prior round got to wear the tiara. Yep, that's right. I won a round.
Actually, the Hello Kitty game was probably one of the most fun things we did on the trip. That's not to say there wasn't a lot of other fun things going on, but it was sweet to gather so many people at the end of the trip. It was also a quietly raucous way to end the trip with friends, both new (like Travis and Skip from Phoenix, Chris and Mike from Texas, and Brian from Louisiana) and old (the inimitable tonymorg among others).
Our end of the trip "bar bill" turned out to me much, much less than either of us were expecting, (especially considering the number of bars where we depleted their stock of Patron Silver), which made the last night a little bit happier as well (and we made sure to do some last minute bar damage there...another bottle of Patron consumed)! The next morning, we woke up and made our way back to Matt's house in Long Beach. The motion sickness I was prepared for all trip with magnetic wristbands and Dramamine never surfaced...until we were on land. I caught some waves while taking a shower, and Fred was so sick on Saturday, that we were worried about how we were going to manage the drive back home on Sunday. I was really bummed that we missed mattycub and zombietruckstop's nuptials, but given how Fred was feeling, it was a good thing we had bowed out a month earlier.
The drive home the next day was more manageable than we had expected, but Fred had "land legs" all week long. And what finally cured him last Friday? A shot of Patron Silver (after a week of nausea...poor baby). ;)
I don't think either of us got the "cruise bug" that some people tell you about. I mean, it was a cheaper trip than either of us had expected overall, and we ate extremely well (the French and Italian restaurants on board were highlights of the week, though I became very partial to the diner on the 7th deck, open at any time of the day with all sorts of deep-fried goodness. Yes, I gained 16 pounds on the cruise. No shit.) But when you think about the money that you spend for that kind of venture, it makes you wonder where else you could go. We'll definitely do another cruise, but another one next year? Not so sure about that right now.
I know I'm missing a ton of other things that happened on the boat, like being bored and watching Twilight the last night of the cruise (holy crap, people liked this movie?), or seeing Debbie Reynolds' Vegas Act (which was kind of funny, but really reminiscent of watching Shirley Maclaine in Postcards From the Edge), but for the most part, it was just a week to relax and recuperate, to recharge the batteries, with very little agenda but enjoying the sun and our friends. And I think we accomplished that, by all accounts.
So now I'm pondering 2010's Big Annual Trip With Friends. Any suggestions? Right now, I'm leaning towards the Gay Games in Cologne with a healthy dash of London and Amsterdam in the middle.