A Few Paragraphs About My Man
An anonymous reader asked, "What drew you to Fred, and how has he differed from past partners?"
The short answer? One word:
Yes. Pajamas.
I was telling my friend Allen this last night...Fred and I have a few anniversaries.
We actually shared a kiss in mid-December at Planet Big, at the Stud. He had come over, as our friend Derek tells it, specifically because I said I was going there. :) While dancing together, we kept stealing looks at each other, and then finally, dancing around it long enough, we kissed. It was quick and fumbling, and probably not something either of us looks upon with much memory. It wasn't bad, by any stretch. It just wasn't all that memorable. We might have both been drunk.
The second kiss came on New Year's Day. There was a Mass T-dance at 1015 Folsom, and the theme was pajamas. All these guys around me dancing were wearing silk pajamas, flannel pants, boxers, guys trying to strike a balance between sexy and comfortable. Dancing with friends, I hadn't really been thinking about Fred after that first kiss a couple of weeks earlier to be honest. But then he came bopping towards me, wearing the most adorable pajamas I had ever seen. It was a baby blue flannel Union suit, covered with white counting sheep. He had one arm in it, and the other arm out of it, the sleeve tucked into the back, bicep popping out of it. He looked more than adorable. He looked hot. And I know he was warm in that onesie. There was just something about him, and the way he came bouncing over to say hi. He had this combination of cute and sexy that made me want to grab him and give him a kiss. So I did. And the kiss curled my toes. This guy was hot. Great kisser. We made out for quite a long time. He left a big impression on me.
But I was dating someone else at the time, not exclusively, but enough to where I didn't think I could ask Fred out (I'm not very good at juggling dates). So I went home alone. But he stayed on my mind. Over the next month, I decided that I wasn't really getting what I needed from the guy I was seeing, and broke it off. And a couple of weeks later, over IBR weekend, Fred asked me out on a date, for a couple days later on (hence, the third anniversary, our first date, on February 18th). We had our first date, and I was so intrigued by him. He was funny, confident, smart, and interesting. He listened to my boring stories about softball and my job, and he told me about how he became a plumber, how he'd grown up in San Francisco. We carried on an easy conversation that bounced around effortlessly.
Fred used to tell me in the beginning of our relationship that he thought that I would be bored with him. I never understood why he felt this way. I could tell very early on that Fred wasn't the life of the party in a flamboyant, needy way. He was just game to do things that other people would shy away from, and in that way, people liked being around him. The pajamas were just one example of that. Within a few hours, I could tell he had a confidence that wasn't cocky, a sexiness that came from sweetness, and most of all, I could tell he had a zest for life, enjoyed his friends, his dog, and with this great attitude about him that I picked up on immediately. That's the long answer. That's what I was drawn to.
I've had a few boyfriends over the years, and I think it would be impolite to compare Fred to them, because Fred and I have been together longer than 4 of my longest relationships combined. To compare Fred to the other relationships that didn't work out wouldn't be fair to those other guys, because I would be focusing on what didn't work with my exes, and my only comparison is what works so well for us. There are hundreds of different ways that Fred is different from my exes. But I'm different too. I'm not the same person I was when I was in those relationships.
So, I'll just say this about Fred. He makes me smile, all the time. And before him, I can't recall ever smiling as much and enjoying myself with any boyfriend, all the time, the way I do with him. We have dorky in-jokes, and we goof off each other, which is something that comes with passing time and learning from each other. We share our secrets, insecurities, strengths and weaknesses, and we own our flaws. This is, and he is, in almost every single way, everything I ever wanted in a relationship and boyfriend, without knowing specifically what I wanted before. That's how he's differed from past boyfriends.
I didn't get to all of my questions this month, sadly. I still have a couple more, which I will try to get to in the next couple of posts. March isn't the only day for answers, after all.
The short answer? One word:
Yes. Pajamas.
I was telling my friend Allen this last night...Fred and I have a few anniversaries.
We actually shared a kiss in mid-December at Planet Big, at the Stud. He had come over, as our friend Derek tells it, specifically because I said I was going there. :) While dancing together, we kept stealing looks at each other, and then finally, dancing around it long enough, we kissed. It was quick and fumbling, and probably not something either of us looks upon with much memory. It wasn't bad, by any stretch. It just wasn't all that memorable. We might have both been drunk.
The second kiss came on New Year's Day. There was a Mass T-dance at 1015 Folsom, and the theme was pajamas. All these guys around me dancing were wearing silk pajamas, flannel pants, boxers, guys trying to strike a balance between sexy and comfortable. Dancing with friends, I hadn't really been thinking about Fred after that first kiss a couple of weeks earlier to be honest. But then he came bopping towards me, wearing the most adorable pajamas I had ever seen. It was a baby blue flannel Union suit, covered with white counting sheep. He had one arm in it, and the other arm out of it, the sleeve tucked into the back, bicep popping out of it. He looked more than adorable. He looked hot. And I know he was warm in that onesie. There was just something about him, and the way he came bouncing over to say hi. He had this combination of cute and sexy that made me want to grab him and give him a kiss. So I did. And the kiss curled my toes. This guy was hot. Great kisser. We made out for quite a long time. He left a big impression on me.
But I was dating someone else at the time, not exclusively, but enough to where I didn't think I could ask Fred out (I'm not very good at juggling dates). So I went home alone. But he stayed on my mind. Over the next month, I decided that I wasn't really getting what I needed from the guy I was seeing, and broke it off. And a couple of weeks later, over IBR weekend, Fred asked me out on a date, for a couple days later on (hence, the third anniversary, our first date, on February 18th). We had our first date, and I was so intrigued by him. He was funny, confident, smart, and interesting. He listened to my boring stories about softball and my job, and he told me about how he became a plumber, how he'd grown up in San Francisco. We carried on an easy conversation that bounced around effortlessly.
Fred used to tell me in the beginning of our relationship that he thought that I would be bored with him. I never understood why he felt this way. I could tell very early on that Fred wasn't the life of the party in a flamboyant, needy way. He was just game to do things that other people would shy away from, and in that way, people liked being around him. The pajamas were just one example of that. Within a few hours, I could tell he had a confidence that wasn't cocky, a sexiness that came from sweetness, and most of all, I could tell he had a zest for life, enjoyed his friends, his dog, and with this great attitude about him that I picked up on immediately. That's the long answer. That's what I was drawn to.
I've had a few boyfriends over the years, and I think it would be impolite to compare Fred to them, because Fred and I have been together longer than 4 of my longest relationships combined. To compare Fred to the other relationships that didn't work out wouldn't be fair to those other guys, because I would be focusing on what didn't work with my exes, and my only comparison is what works so well for us. There are hundreds of different ways that Fred is different from my exes. But I'm different too. I'm not the same person I was when I was in those relationships.
So, I'll just say this about Fred. He makes me smile, all the time. And before him, I can't recall ever smiling as much and enjoying myself with any boyfriend, all the time, the way I do with him. We have dorky in-jokes, and we goof off each other, which is something that comes with passing time and learning from each other. We share our secrets, insecurities, strengths and weaknesses, and we own our flaws. This is, and he is, in almost every single way, everything I ever wanted in a relationship and boyfriend, without knowing specifically what I wanted before. That's how he's differed from past boyfriends.
I didn't get to all of my questions this month, sadly. I still have a couple more, which I will try to get to in the next couple of posts. March isn't the only day for answers, after all.