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ok, so i was thinking, while i couldn't (and still can't) goto sleep, that life trully sucks for me.... You know how a lot of people said that they could go through life and be happy with just friends... well, good for them... liers!!!! anyways, yeah, i have recently found out that to acquire a friend there must be trust somewhere in there, and from what i've seen with a lot of my so called "friends" (even the so called "brothers" i hang out with) are comepletely dishonest lazy people... and it's mainly bc of their laziness that causes this... but anyways, i only have a couple of true friends in my life, and i can only think of about 4 people (excluding family) that would be there in a pinch immediatley if i needed it... others i could see waiting it out, or saying that they could bc they had to do something else (possibly and most likely, less important)... eh... i guess that is somewhat of a cynical remark... but that rubs off on people. another thing i'd like to add, by teaching somebody the meaning of truth you also, unknowingly, teach that same person the meaning of lying... the same with respect and false respect (like brown nosing, or making somebody think you're all good with them but really you're using them for some other purpose)... yeah, i've found this out that people influence others in both the good and the bad, if people have the common sense to think about what they have learned they would realize that they have learned two sides, but would hopefully stick away from the bad because, using that common sense, would dictate that that would be the unwise/wrong way to go about things. Ok, so... i'm tired of being considered a friend of people who don't even give a shit about anything... i can't stand people and i the sad thing is, it's pretty obvious to read people and see when they're lying about something... reason for this is because high school taught me the essence of lying... life is so overated and it's completely useless wasting time with those that don't provide any gratification, productivement, self improvement, happiness, or otherwise life motivating/changing/understanding changes... bc if they don't do that, they are a complete waste of time... there are too many people in this world that i would deem competely "worthless" (turner's word)... i also can't stand people who don't realize their actions at least after the fact that they have done them... i can understand not thinking before jumping in... most people are like that... but just not thinking about the situation afterwards and realizing what the consequences are is ridiculous imo. I know i'm ranting, and it seems as though this is all i do, or post dull quizzes up that really don't give you much of a true insight into who you are or what you are like... i'm tired of bullshit, and i'm tired of people acting like kids and not being upfront about anything and then you have to find out through an intricate game of "telephone" to hear a semi-truthful account of what was said/done/etc.... too much in my life have i had to witness this, and sadly i know i'll never be able to escape it... but at least i can just write off all those who i know of at this time that are like that... people need to realize what they have in or around their lives and not take so many things for granted, not everyone is going to be around for anybody to have in their pocket for later use... it's ridiculous