i deserve the misery
i know i should be moving on, and my friends have been helping me to, but i still miss him. why? because i still love him. and i know he doesn't believe me when i say it, because i have fucked up too many times, but i do. so bernard, if you still read this, im sorry, im sorry for everything, especailly for what im about to say now, i still love you, i still miss you. i don't think ive ever stopped loving you. and no im not trying to fuck with your head im just trying to get it out there, so maybe it won't hurt so bad.