MY LIFE SUX!!!!!!
i hate my life so much....heres why
im on teather and im never goin to get off...they have managed to keep me on it for almost 2 months.....IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
it feels like i keep waiting for nothin...im waiting for everything to fail
i cant go anywhere...i cry all the time....im never happy....and i cant be myself...EVEN AROUND MY FAMILY!.....i always feel like i have to prove sumthin to everyone.....im bored....im just going CRAZY!!!!!
ok i will explain a lil bit to ya now.....
ive been on this fucking teather for almost 2 months now and b4 this i was in juvey for 2 weeks....my probation officer wont even let me out on new years and i had to argue with her to let me go to my gma's on xmas eve....that is the only place i have been all xmas break and trust me it was nothin special....im sick of looking at these same walls everyday....talking to the same ppl every day....argueing wtih the same ppl everyday....it literally feels like im waiting on sumthin that will never come...it feels like im waitin for my life to be over. i cant stand being in this house no more...its driving me nuts....there is nothing to do....and everyone has given up on me....no one calls me....no one ever asks how im doing...no one even says hi to me ....on christmas i was sick and pukeing all over and no one could ask if i was allright or anything my whole family just tolde me to take it else where so they could open up all of their nice lil presents which by the way i was wrong...i did get sumthing for christmas but only because my mom wants my bro to still believe in santa and if i didnt get anything he would start asking questions and stuff but that aint the point......basically to sum this whole thing up .....im going crazy....literally
sean didnt come see me today and i mean that is cool i dont care but im sick of ppl gettin in between us all the time.....ppl just need to realize that our relationship only concerns me and him not us and other ppl! my parents think they can tell me wut i can and cant do in a relationship and tell me who i can and cant date and its bullshit i swear! when did they start dating sean? thats wut i want to know. when did everyone else start dating sean? i dont know but i just think that everyone needs to stay the fuck outta my business or i swear to god when i get off teather i will beat ur ass!
nothin is ever good enough for my parents....im never going to be good enough for anyone....every thing i do is wrong...so why cant i see that? i keep telling myself it is just a phase that they are going thru and everything will get better....well its not....i will always be the slut to them and always be the problem child...i should just get used to it now i guess
i keep having these dreams about my dad...and as u all know...he is dead. he keeps just showing up and he is always there. in my dreams he is the perfect dad. he is always there for me. which that is why they call it a dream. its not real. its never going to be real. he is dead and that is that. im never going to see him again or talk to him again so why do i keep dreaming of him.
im going to die soon if i dont get out of this hell hole that you call my life...i really dont have anything to live for so im not worried i hope things get better....but i know they arent gonna.
well thanks for letting me vent...
im on teather and im never goin to get off...they have managed to keep me on it for almost 2 months.....IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
it feels like i keep waiting for nothin...im waiting for everything to fail
i cant go anywhere...i cry all the time....im never happy....and i cant be myself...EVEN AROUND MY FAMILY!.....i always feel like i have to prove sumthin to everyone.....im bored....im just going CRAZY!!!!!
ok i will explain a lil bit to ya now.....
ive been on this fucking teather for almost 2 months now and b4 this i was in juvey for 2 weeks....my probation officer wont even let me out on new years and i had to argue with her to let me go to my gma's on xmas eve....that is the only place i have been all xmas break and trust me it was nothin special....im sick of looking at these same walls everyday....talking to the same ppl every day....argueing wtih the same ppl everyday....it literally feels like im waiting on sumthin that will never come...it feels like im waitin for my life to be over. i cant stand being in this house no more...its driving me nuts....there is nothing to do....and everyone has given up on me....no one calls me....no one ever asks how im doing...no one even says hi to me ....on christmas i was sick and pukeing all over and no one could ask if i was allright or anything my whole family just tolde me to take it else where so they could open up all of their nice lil presents which by the way i was wrong...i did get sumthing for christmas but only because my mom wants my bro to still believe in santa and if i didnt get anything he would start asking questions and stuff but that aint the point......basically to sum this whole thing up .....im going crazy....literally
sean didnt come see me today and i mean that is cool i dont care but im sick of ppl gettin in between us all the time.....ppl just need to realize that our relationship only concerns me and him not us and other ppl! my parents think they can tell me wut i can and cant do in a relationship and tell me who i can and cant date and its bullshit i swear! when did they start dating sean? thats wut i want to know. when did everyone else start dating sean? i dont know but i just think that everyone needs to stay the fuck outta my business or i swear to god when i get off teather i will beat ur ass!
nothin is ever good enough for my parents....im never going to be good enough for anyone....every thing i do is wrong...so why cant i see that? i keep telling myself it is just a phase that they are going thru and everything will get better....well its not....i will always be the slut to them and always be the problem child...i should just get used to it now i guess
i keep having these dreams about my dad...and as u all know...he is dead. he keeps just showing up and he is always there. in my dreams he is the perfect dad. he is always there for me. which that is why they call it a dream. its not real. its never going to be real. he is dead and that is that. im never going to see him again or talk to him again so why do i keep dreaming of him.
im going to die soon if i dont get out of this hell hole that you call my life...i really dont have anything to live for so im not worried i hope things get better....but i know they arent gonna.
well thanks for letting me vent...