Story time and thinking
When I was younger my dads side of the family use to take a family vacation to Crivitz in Wisconsin. It was camping of sorts, we had a cabin but me, my brother, and two of my cousins slept in a big tent outside. So we were the ones considered "roughing it".
Anyway... that has nothing to do with this post. I use to go there when I was young from 10-16ish. There was a giant lake that we stayed on. It was REALLY big back then, not so big now. But I remember being 12ish and looking out across the lake and seeing a big island with a couple trees on it in the middle of the lake.
Its no real secreat that I dislike being in confined areas with people I don't much care for. There were plenty of people on my dads side of the family that rubbed me the wrong way even when young (No not in the sick kind of way) and because of this I liked to be alone. I would go to the end of the giant docks they had there. I would find secluded areas and just kinda hide for a while.
Eventually my cousins or brother and sister would find me. For some odd reason there was always a big commotion when I was missing and everyone would try to find me. I remember trying my harded to find a place that was within reason that I could go that they wouldn't find me but I never found one.
Until I looked out across the lake and saw the island. We had 2 boats the kids could use a paddle boat and a row boat. Being that I was 12 at the time I didn't know how to use the row boat so I hoped in the paddle boat and started making my way out to the island. The current was working against me the whole time and being that I was extremely ADHD I got disheartened and went back after about 15 minutes of paddling out towards the island.
I longed to be on the island and away from everyone else. But I couldn't get there and my time there went by. The next year I came back stronger. This year I was determined to get to the other side. I started paddling and got pretty far out Until some of the adults noticed where I was and yelled at me to come back. I grudgingly came back to shore still wanting to get to the island of solitude. The year passed.
The next year I was 14. Much stronger and smarter. This time I took my cousin adam with me to try and paddle out to the island... I thought I might not get peace and quiet but if I went with someone else they might let me go out there (Buddy system). Once again we get about half way out and get yelled at to come back. Angry I come back and spend the rest of my time on land.
The next year 15. I decided to try my hand at the row boat. It was filthy and the oars were full of jagged wood making them unweildly and dangerous to use. I didn't care I got in and started rowing. By the time I got half way there the tide and my inexperince at rowing had turned against me. My hands were pretty raw from rowing so I had to turn back or get taken down stream with the way the wind was taking me. Angry at myself I turned back.
The next year wasn't a good year it was rainy and terrible weather so we had to stay inside most of the time... in closed confinment of each other. I had to deal with that for the majority of the vacation. The second to last day the weather was nice enough to go outside. Almost as if by routine I get into the row boat and start rowing out. My hands become raw again but I didn't care. I kept rowing, they even bleed a little but on that day I reached the island. I immedaitly tied the boat to one of the trees and sat down on the shore.
I laid back and looked at the sky and took in the relaxing calm that was on the island as the water washed up on the rocky shores only interrupted by my boat being gently rocked back and forth. I don't know how long I was there but apparently it was too long to be alone because when I looked back at the shore I saw the paddle boat loaded with my younger cousins coming towards the island. Apparently most of the adults were asleep so they had snuck out and started paddling their way to me to my dismay.
they got about 3/4ths of the way to me before one of their mothers saw them. Frantically she and a few of the other females in the family jumped in the motor boat we had and speed out to tell them to turn back. I was over joyed when I heard their complaining that I was allowed where I was. The parents looked at me relaxing on the shoreline and then continued to tell the kids to turn back which they eventually did.
I stayed on the island alone for most of the day. I enjoyed myself doing really nothing but listening to the sounds of the lake. Knowing my cousins were pissed that they couldn't come with. I was alone where I wanted to be for one time in 4 years I got what I wanted.
As it got later I realized I needed to go back. I was sad but relaxed and happy I had been able to spend the day alone. I looked all over the shore and found a rock. I put it in my pocket and rowed back across the lake to the shore where I was greeted by my cousins who had seen me coming across. They all jumped me and asked me what I had done. I responded "Nothing, Absolutely nothing" With a smile on my face. Which they replied. "Lame" and went about their way.
I never did go back to crivitz. But my one day of solitude was enough to teach me something. It make take you a while to get something but once you have it no one can take it away.
I learned another thing though. Sometimes your greatest accomplishments are forgotten because in the end they are meaningless to everyone except you.
Anyway... that has nothing to do with this post. I use to go there when I was young from 10-16ish. There was a giant lake that we stayed on. It was REALLY big back then, not so big now. But I remember being 12ish and looking out across the lake and seeing a big island with a couple trees on it in the middle of the lake.
Its no real secreat that I dislike being in confined areas with people I don't much care for. There were plenty of people on my dads side of the family that rubbed me the wrong way even when young (No not in the sick kind of way) and because of this I liked to be alone. I would go to the end of the giant docks they had there. I would find secluded areas and just kinda hide for a while.
Eventually my cousins or brother and sister would find me. For some odd reason there was always a big commotion when I was missing and everyone would try to find me. I remember trying my harded to find a place that was within reason that I could go that they wouldn't find me but I never found one.
Until I looked out across the lake and saw the island. We had 2 boats the kids could use a paddle boat and a row boat. Being that I was 12 at the time I didn't know how to use the row boat so I hoped in the paddle boat and started making my way out to the island. The current was working against me the whole time and being that I was extremely ADHD I got disheartened and went back after about 15 minutes of paddling out towards the island.
I longed to be on the island and away from everyone else. But I couldn't get there and my time there went by. The next year I came back stronger. This year I was determined to get to the other side. I started paddling and got pretty far out Until some of the adults noticed where I was and yelled at me to come back. I grudgingly came back to shore still wanting to get to the island of solitude. The year passed.
The next year I was 14. Much stronger and smarter. This time I took my cousin adam with me to try and paddle out to the island... I thought I might not get peace and quiet but if I went with someone else they might let me go out there (Buddy system). Once again we get about half way out and get yelled at to come back. Angry I come back and spend the rest of my time on land.
The next year 15. I decided to try my hand at the row boat. It was filthy and the oars were full of jagged wood making them unweildly and dangerous to use. I didn't care I got in and started rowing. By the time I got half way there the tide and my inexperince at rowing had turned against me. My hands were pretty raw from rowing so I had to turn back or get taken down stream with the way the wind was taking me. Angry at myself I turned back.
The next year wasn't a good year it was rainy and terrible weather so we had to stay inside most of the time... in closed confinment of each other. I had to deal with that for the majority of the vacation. The second to last day the weather was nice enough to go outside. Almost as if by routine I get into the row boat and start rowing out. My hands become raw again but I didn't care. I kept rowing, they even bleed a little but on that day I reached the island. I immedaitly tied the boat to one of the trees and sat down on the shore.
I laid back and looked at the sky and took in the relaxing calm that was on the island as the water washed up on the rocky shores only interrupted by my boat being gently rocked back and forth. I don't know how long I was there but apparently it was too long to be alone because when I looked back at the shore I saw the paddle boat loaded with my younger cousins coming towards the island. Apparently most of the adults were asleep so they had snuck out and started paddling their way to me to my dismay.
they got about 3/4ths of the way to me before one of their mothers saw them. Frantically she and a few of the other females in the family jumped in the motor boat we had and speed out to tell them to turn back. I was over joyed when I heard their complaining that I was allowed where I was. The parents looked at me relaxing on the shoreline and then continued to tell the kids to turn back which they eventually did.
I stayed on the island alone for most of the day. I enjoyed myself doing really nothing but listening to the sounds of the lake. Knowing my cousins were pissed that they couldn't come with. I was alone where I wanted to be for one time in 4 years I got what I wanted.
As it got later I realized I needed to go back. I was sad but relaxed and happy I had been able to spend the day alone. I looked all over the shore and found a rock. I put it in my pocket and rowed back across the lake to the shore where I was greeted by my cousins who had seen me coming across. They all jumped me and asked me what I had done. I responded "Nothing, Absolutely nothing" With a smile on my face. Which they replied. "Lame" and went about their way.
I never did go back to crivitz. But my one day of solitude was enough to teach me something. It make take you a while to get something but once you have it no one can take it away.
I learned another thing though. Sometimes your greatest accomplishments are forgotten because in the end they are meaningless to everyone except you.