IM ACTUALLY UPDATING!

[bigorchdork04]

maybe this is just the birthcontrol again, taking over my emotions. im not sure what it is but im off. i woke up this morning and i was in a great mood. work was ok, put a small damper on my mood, but i got over it. i got to see meg and nick which was nice and now im at home thinking. like i wish people wouldnt be hypocritical. i wish that people would live by example. i try hard not to criticize people for their actions. sure at times i become a little hypocritical. that my friends is inevitable. but where i find people need to do this the most in in parenting. i love my parents. they do alot for me and they love me unconditionally in the end. but i get very frustrated when i try and i feel that no matter what i do NOTHING will ever be good enough. i have learned to keep my mouth shut on a lot of things. i think i have begun to grow up a good bit recently. like in the last month or so. i think i have made a few changes and they have been good changes. not that i have had a picture perfect life, but honestly i have cut WAYYY back on drinking, not doing very much sexually (yes i know im airing my business out here on the internet... go me) and just tried to have fun. i only live once. someone once told me that you only live once, have no regrets and make the most of life. this person who anyone who reads this knows who it is has given me a LOT of good advice. sure it may have been intended in a different context but i have taken this advice and tried to live by it. it has made life better. to try and not stress about things. i know its sorta a unrealistic way to look at things but thats ok... for now at least.

i guess i need some sleep. i just hope that all this blows over. i know in the end everything is gonna be ok. it always is.. im gonna lay down some now.. after i talk to meg.