"This man has a bad HEART..."
Jesus Christ, the pain. It will NOT go away. Since WEDNESDAY...there has been constant throbbing pain right over my heart. Its happened before but NEVER this bad. It doesnt subside, it doesnt fluctuate, it is CONSTANT. I can feel every heartbeat. And quite frankly its pissin me right off. Its like there's a butcher knife hanging out of my chest. I can push on my chest and feel the pressure build and the pain shoot down my left side. The doctor says "eh, its called chest wall pains...it happens when your chest grows and it presses against your heart." For a WEEK?! I'd better be 10 pounds heavier after this growth spurt for having to deal with THIS bullshit. But I've dealt with it until now and I suppose I will continue to deal with it until it goes away again. But until then, DAMMIT.
Alright, maybe its just my crankyass attitude stemming from the constant nagging negative pressure digging around in my chest but I feel that I must express my opinion. ALCOHOL. I'm sick of watching it rule people's lives. Every person has the willpower to overcome alcohol. My roommate drinks himself into a stupor weekend after weekend and instantly becomes a raving ignorant rude asshole of a man. Fuck that. I've been off my rocker on alcohol enough times to know what it feels like...hey its cool...everyone gets loud and fun and open-minded. But then you come down and it hurts for a while and then you are better. Shoot, I of all people enjoy a couple cold ones now and again but i dont just thrash all out into a stupor EVERY TIME alcohol touches my lips. The people around you that are sober inherently feel the whiplash of your excesses. People that care about you or people that are around you or you have a responsibility to are left out in the FUCKING rain because YOU wanted to get wasted. Alcohol is not that big a deal. Weed is not that big a deal. Overrated. I get my highs off the things i experience when I'm sober. I dont need a alcohol induced coma to tickle my fancy. I cannot possibly fathom NEEDING an external narcotic to get by from day to day. Dont blame it on the fact that your parents drank, dont blame it on the fact that all your friends drink, wake UP!! You have responsibilities and bills and a LIFE. You cant just drink them away and then laugh about being "so damn drunk" the next day. Regulate yourself, and get your shit done...THEN celebrate. Quit leaving people out in the rain. This goes out to everyone out there that has ever left someone sitting, waiting and WONDERING because you decided to get PLASTERED. Everyone that has ever had to deal with consequences because you and your friends sat around and got drunk. I always make sure people know where I am. My roommates especially, because ive grown up with these guys, and they will wonder what the hell mightve happened to me. So I call. Just CALL. Is that so damn hard? Calan does the same. I ain't tryin to put a leash on anybody, but still. You have responsibilities and just drinking until you think they go away aint gonna cut it. Because they WONT. When I went home with my dad to go get my blue truck and left my cellphone in the MGM sitting in the parking lot, I had 14 missed calls on it from Calan and Allie AND Chris wondering what happened to me. I felt awful. Make a damn phone call. Save the people around you from the bullshit. And for those of you out there that are being left out in the rain, I'm sorry. That sucks, and I hate it. I wish I could help. Keep your chin up, and dont let anything walk on you. I'm done. I've either shot myself in the foot, or hopefully shed some light. Either way, gives me a chance to write about what pisses me off.
Cricket makes good cellphones for cheap. 39.95 a month and its like unlimited minutes for a limited area. I recommend the Audiovox 8910 or the 8610. And possibly the new Motorola...i think its the...262? 265...something like that...either way its blue. Crickets gotten a lot better lately and its really handy when you stay inside a certain area and need to be contacted. I'm thinking about getting my dad one. Just came across my mind...might be something worth looking into. Fills the cellphone void ya know? ;-)
Peace.
Alright, maybe its just my crankyass attitude stemming from the constant nagging negative pressure digging around in my chest but I feel that I must express my opinion. ALCOHOL. I'm sick of watching it rule people's lives. Every person has the willpower to overcome alcohol. My roommate drinks himself into a stupor weekend after weekend and instantly becomes a raving ignorant rude asshole of a man. Fuck that. I've been off my rocker on alcohol enough times to know what it feels like...hey its cool...everyone gets loud and fun and open-minded. But then you come down and it hurts for a while and then you are better. Shoot, I of all people enjoy a couple cold ones now and again but i dont just thrash all out into a stupor EVERY TIME alcohol touches my lips. The people around you that are sober inherently feel the whiplash of your excesses. People that care about you or people that are around you or you have a responsibility to are left out in the FUCKING rain because YOU wanted to get wasted. Alcohol is not that big a deal. Weed is not that big a deal. Overrated. I get my highs off the things i experience when I'm sober. I dont need a alcohol induced coma to tickle my fancy. I cannot possibly fathom NEEDING an external narcotic to get by from day to day. Dont blame it on the fact that your parents drank, dont blame it on the fact that all your friends drink, wake UP!! You have responsibilities and bills and a LIFE. You cant just drink them away and then laugh about being "so damn drunk" the next day. Regulate yourself, and get your shit done...THEN celebrate. Quit leaving people out in the rain. This goes out to everyone out there that has ever left someone sitting, waiting and WONDERING because you decided to get PLASTERED. Everyone that has ever had to deal with consequences because you and your friends sat around and got drunk. I always make sure people know where I am. My roommates especially, because ive grown up with these guys, and they will wonder what the hell mightve happened to me. So I call. Just CALL. Is that so damn hard? Calan does the same. I ain't tryin to put a leash on anybody, but still. You have responsibilities and just drinking until you think they go away aint gonna cut it. Because they WONT. When I went home with my dad to go get my blue truck and left my cellphone in the MGM sitting in the parking lot, I had 14 missed calls on it from Calan and Allie AND Chris wondering what happened to me. I felt awful. Make a damn phone call. Save the people around you from the bullshit. And for those of you out there that are being left out in the rain, I'm sorry. That sucks, and I hate it. I wish I could help. Keep your chin up, and dont let anything walk on you. I'm done. I've either shot myself in the foot, or hopefully shed some light. Either way, gives me a chance to write about what pisses me off.
Cricket makes good cellphones for cheap. 39.95 a month and its like unlimited minutes for a limited area. I recommend the Audiovox 8910 or the 8610. And possibly the new Motorola...i think its the...262? 265...something like that...either way its blue. Crickets gotten a lot better lately and its really handy when you stay inside a certain area and need to be contacted. I'm thinking about getting my dad one. Just came across my mind...might be something worth looking into. Fills the cellphone void ya know? ;-)
Peace.