My Fallen Idol
When I was a kid, i used to be a wrestling fanatic. I used to love everything that had to do with WWF.. or WWE.. or whatever they're calling it these days. anyways, i haven't watched it in like 4-5 years. I woke up this morning and found the Windsor Star on the kitchen table. On the front page, there was a picture of Chris Benoit, a canadian wrestler and he used to be one of my favourites, and Eddi Francis was in the background smiling. Benoit had a championship belt over his shoulder and was smiling. He was at silvercity promoting Wrestlemania 23. This was in February. Anyways, back to the newspaper article. I saw that picture and was curious as to what one of my ex-idols was doing on the front page of my local newspaper. I found the title of the article and it read the following: "Wrestling hero, family mourned; Cops probe deaths". So i continued to read the actual article. He was supposed to show up for a wresting show and never did, so the Chairman of WWE sent the cops to his house to check out if everything was okay. All the doors were locked, and when the cops got inside, they found him, his wife, and his seven-year-old son all dead. There were no gunshot wounds or anything. They were just all dead. The doors were locked. The cops think it was a murder-suicide.
I don't know why this all bothered me so much. I dunno if it was because one of my former-idols is now dead. Or the fact that one of those three people probably killed their family members and then themselves. And one of them was a seven-year-old kid. Maybe i'm extremely naive, but i have a hard time believing one of those ppl would go on a killin rampage like that.. A succesful superstar, completely loaded, seemingly happy from the photograph in the paper.. but I guess you never know with people cause those smiles can always be fake. You never know what's going on in a person's mind. And that really scares me.
Anyways, me emotional state hasn't changed much lately. I don't know if I'm more angry with people for how they take news or with myself for how I give news and how I feel. There are just so many things I want to change right now but it's so out of my reach. And that hurts more than anything. Just letting go of those things. I read a really really really really good book recently. It's called The Perks of Being A Wallflower (kaila, I think you'd really like this one). It's about a boy going into highschool. And it's about growing up and being okay with yourself and who you are. It was really good and made me think about a lot of things. I suggest that everyone who reads my journal read it.
That's all for now. big post coming soon (after grad sometime) about my highschool life... i may just put if off forever tho cause i really am gonna miss that french building.
peace and love
I don't know why this all bothered me so much. I dunno if it was because one of my former-idols is now dead. Or the fact that one of those three people probably killed their family members and then themselves. And one of them was a seven-year-old kid. Maybe i'm extremely naive, but i have a hard time believing one of those ppl would go on a killin rampage like that.. A succesful superstar, completely loaded, seemingly happy from the photograph in the paper.. but I guess you never know with people cause those smiles can always be fake. You never know what's going on in a person's mind. And that really scares me.
Anyways, me emotional state hasn't changed much lately. I don't know if I'm more angry with people for how they take news or with myself for how I give news and how I feel. There are just so many things I want to change right now but it's so out of my reach. And that hurts more than anything. Just letting go of those things. I read a really really really really good book recently. It's called The Perks of Being A Wallflower (kaila, I think you'd really like this one). It's about a boy going into highschool. And it's about growing up and being okay with yourself and who you are. It was really good and made me think about a lot of things. I suggest that everyone who reads my journal read it.
That's all for now. big post coming soon (after grad sometime) about my highschool life... i may just put if off forever tho cause i really am gonna miss that french building.
peace and love