hey everyone

[bigmatthews]

I just want to say that i know i've been a little edgy and cranky lately and i've probably been pretty annoying. its just that this is usually a hard time of the year and i just feel like even though lots of people say that there my friends, its just hard to believe when i dont really see it in action. they just never seem to talk to me or pay attention to me or even acknowledge me, its like they dont even know im there. I know that im just being dumb, but it would be nice to be reminded that i do have friends every once in awhile. no one has every done anything spontaneous for me before to show me that there my friend, people never make plans to go out or hang out with me. i'd just like to know from time to time by actions instead of having to ask people if there my friends.

sigh, i hate this, im turning into a self-fullfilling prophecy. I dont know, im jsut going to bed.

good night.