The Preserver - Part VI and end notes

[bigmamag]

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Spock was reluctant when it was time to leave his image of Vulcan. He drank in the landscape, letting himself become sentimental over a destroyed collection of rock and sky as Jim dressed himself. Spock’s gaze relocated to Jim’s unclothed back and he was taken over by how much he wanted to repeat their earlier activities. He controlled the urge to reach out and touch. Instead, he let Jim finish and rise to his feet, releasing Vulcan from their eyes.

Their counterparts awaited them in an even more absurd manner than playing chess on bags filled with Polyurethane foam beads. They were riding on a large Ferris wheel in the middle of a carnival, sharing a large cylindrical mass of pink foam. Tinny music filled the air and dazzling lights blinked and flowed around them.

“Is there something wrong with waiting on a couch and reading a book?” Jim scoffed from beside Spock, though it did not escape Spock’s notice that Jim’s eyes were bright and childlike.

The ride stopped and the two elder gentlemen left their gondola.

“Sorry. Spock needed cheering up, I wanted cotton candy, and so here we are.”

“Vulcans have no need of ‘cheering up’, Jim,” the elder Spock said. He appeared in much better spirits despite the admonishment, so Spock was left to agree with Kirk.

“Of course not, dear,” Kirk said absently. “Whatever the case may be, we do have a serious discussion ahead of us. Let’s take a seat at the bench over there.”

They went to where Kirk indicated a picnic table with a plastic cover that depicted clowns. Jim stared at the table in disbelief.

“This is my life,” he muttered, perplexing Spock. Of course this was his life. He shelved away the statement with the many others his captain was wont to impart and turned his attention to the elder Spock.

“Ambassador Spock, it was suggested that you have new knowledge of our predicament.”

Kirk leaned close to the elder Spock’s ear and murmured something. Spock could hear the words ‘so serious’ and ‘Halloween.’ Before Spock could contemplate what they meant, his counterpart spoke.

“Indeed I have new knowledge. I have discovered that the creature is completely psi-null.”

“Are you kidding?” Jim asked incredulously, energetically gesturing at the pair. “How was she able to know what memories would affect us? How could she transfer Spock’s soul from my head to his body and put Admiral Kirk’s soul back too?”

“It is merely a theory,” the elder Spock said, “But it is a sound theory. Tane described souls as a life force that could create. Though in our universe this is not true, here souls are a tangible force. I posit that the creature can control and manipulate a soul, but she is unable to read thoughts or do more than harness an energy source.”

“That’s a pretty big leap to make,” Kirk said thoughtfully, though it did not appear as if he was disagreeing with it.

“She has had ample opportunity to use our thoughts against us,” Spock said, warming to this theory. “Telepathy is the transfer of thoughts or feelings. If the composition of the soul is tangible, then it is perfectly logical that she does not have telepathic abilities. It is possible that this prison we are in allows us to harness the energy our souls emit. When she became momentarily powerless, we lost that ability. If that is the case and she is able to control elements such as this, then the whirlwind that she sent to create discord was entirely reliant on our thoughts. Each of us conjured our own self-doubts and insecurities, not the thoughts of a third party interpreting them.”

“Precisely,” his counterpart agreed, nodding. “If we are correct and can assume that it is our telepathy that caused you to block her influence and myself to bring her pain, then she is fallible and can be damaged severely.”

They let the words drift in the lively air around them, the first glimmer of substantial hope buoying their moods. Suddenly, Kirk slapped the table and let out a triumphant noise.

“I just thought of something else! You remember that she lured the Enterprise to the black hole with a fake disaster and lured Spock to the Guardian via our bond? Remember Tane going off on that rant about her being impatient? If she’s so impatient, then why would she go through all that trouble to procure all of us?”

“Entertainment? Ritualistic behavior?” Ambassador Spock suggested.

Kirk leaned forward excitedly. “What if she couldn’t get you all herself?”

“Come again?” Jim asked.

“It sounds nutty, but listen; Tane comes from a dimension with similar laws to this one, which is why she was able to physically destroy his planet and people. She was wholly uninterested in our universe until Spock made her interested by creating a black hole. She was able to easily take my ‘echo’ from the Nexus and create a body for me, but Spock didn’t meet me at that cabin until three months went by. Why wait that long and go through all that effort if she’s that impatient? What if she can’t go to our universe?”

Spock latched onto what Kirk was saying. “The laws of the universe allow us to utilize our souls as energy. The laws here operate differently from our own and, since we exist in this dimension, those laws are binding on us. It is logical that if she were to physically pass into our dimension, our laws would be binding on her in turn.”

Jim sucked in a startled breath. “And a giant half-dead creature wouldn’t live very long. Holy shit, that’s it! We have to somehow get her into our universe.”

“That is a rather daunting task,” the elder Spock said, not unkindly.

“But not an impossible one,” Spock said. “You were able to incapacitate her from mere physical contact and in an unstable state of mind. If we were able to somehow force her into a mind meld, theoretically we could disable her and escape.”

“That’s all great,” Jim interjected, “but she’s not stupid and isn’t going to let you guys sidle up to her and get friendly. Next time we see her, it’s going to be bad. She’s going to be pissed; she’s going to want revenge. Also, we don’t seem to have abilities outside of this bubble and even if we did, they went offline the last time she was out for the count.”

Kirk sighed, face grim. “We’re going to need Tane.”

‘No way,” Jim said, shaking his head. “We can’t trust him. He could have taken all of us to the Enterprise and gotten us out of here but he didn’t.”

“He also could have let Spock die,” Kirk said, face reddening. “He hates her. She destroyed his planet and his people. She makes him do her dirty work. But he’s also terrified of her. We’ve only known her for a short time; he’s watched her for thousands of years, knows exactly what she’s capable of if someone disobeys.”

“Which means that it’s unlikely that he will take the risk,” Spock said. “He has no reason to trust us any more than we have to trust him.”

“It’s worth a shot. Next time she sees us, any of us could be killed or worse. It’s almost a guarantee that she’ll take her anger out on Spock’s hide again, maybe all of us. We’ve literally got nothing to lose.”

“So we trust in Tane, Mr. ‘She-Is-All-Powerful-and-You-Peons-Suck?” Jim said.

Spock looked at Jim, thoughtful. “Captain, you should attempt to make contact with him. You can claim that your powers are weak and you need more tutelage.”

“Gee, thanks for the low blow,” Jim said, but his smile lightened his dark words. “Why me? He saved Spock’s life and has a hard on over his wise soul, so let him do it.”

“No, no, I agree with him. He seems to like you, Jim. He even said that you made him think that humans might not be so bad after all.”

Jim frowned deeply. “Man, but I don’t like the guy. Won’t he be able to tell that in my soul I want him gone?”

“If he has telepathy and has decided to shield it from us this entire time, perhaps,” Spock said, and Jim glared at him.

“Fine, I’ll try.”

Jim left the table and stood next to a booth that held a pyramid of aluminum cans. He closed his eyes and Spock was dismayed to find that he was raking his eyes over Jim, remembering what lay underneath his captain’s clothing. So engrossed was he that he heard Tane before he saw him, the distinct sound of two bells heralding his arrival. Spock narrowed his eyes slightly, a senseless pang of jealousy shooting through him. He did not like that Tane still wore the bells, even though it proved his assertion that Tane held some affection for Jim.

“I am uncertain that you need further instruction,” Tane said derisively, skin a deep blue and wings tightly clasped behind his back. “If you were able to summon me, you are able to do plenty.”

“That’s not really why I wanted you here,” Jim said, and Spock bristled at the smile Jim was giving Tane. Jim had used that smile on enough shore leaves for Spock to know exactly what it meant. The smile had no effect on Tane, to Spock’s mingled relief and consternation.

“Then I must leave,” Tane said shortly.

“No wait, we need your help.”

“Every time I hear that, it always has negative consequences.”

“You’ll want to hear this; trust me.”

Tane, face waging an internal battle, did exactly that, following Jim to their table. They explained their theories and plan as Tane regarded them skeptically, staring at all of them like they were more ridiculous than the carnival that surrounded them.

“You make bold claims,” he said. “But these are all merely theories and speculation. She is not always impatient; as of this moment, she is waiting and making careful plans with what to do with the four of you. There a million ways this could fail.”

“But it will fail if you don’t help us,” Kirk said imploringly. “You’re the only one she trusts to get close to her. You’re a non-threat, so you can provide the distraction needed for these two to meld. Tane, think of what will happen if we win. You’ll be free, and so will every living creature contained here. Her reign of terror will end for good.”

“It is far more likely that we will fail,” Tane said shortly. “You have not seen what I have seen, you have not lived what I have lived. I was there when she tortured. She tortured me far longer than Spock, far longer than should be possible. When we fail, she will do so again.”

“Tane,” Jim said quietly. Tane looked to him, stony resolve uncontested. “We know the risk. We’ll suffer just as much as you, maybe more. But do you honestly want to live in fear for even just one more day? I know it’s hard to imagine after being here so long, but you can live differently, can live in hope instead of resignation. You made a decision earlier, remember? No one was guiding you, and you chose to save Spock. You can feel that way over and over if you’re free. You can give everyone she’s taken that same feeling.”

Jim’s words were having a slow effect on Tane. He gazed at Jim almost hungrily, skin turned a lighter shade of blue, eye unblinking in concentration. Slowly he unfolded his wings.

“I wish to try,” Tane said.

Jim laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “Now I’ll let you share my peanuts.”

Before Spock could wonder if that was a euphemism, Jim produced a pack of roasted peanuts and proffered them to Tane. Tane looked quizzically at the bag.

“Humans are strangely compelling.”

Spock had to agree.

*

Tane left and agreed to return in several hours. They spent most of that time poring over every aspect of their plan, hammering out the details as best they could on theory alone. Spock melded with Kirk, saying their goodbyes early in case they failed and the creature took one or both of their lives. It was a grim, unhappy time, and when Tane arrived, his expression matched the funereal mood of their group.

“She is waiting.”

They were taken to a mountain with a long, narrow opening in its face set against a set of perfect black. Behind them were the millions of now microscopic spheres that were the collective of her prison system. Malicious whispers followed them as they walked the long, rocky path that led to the mouth of the cave.

Spock caught sight of moving shadows and the outline of one of the creatures who had pulled him through solid ground. This was the creature’s lair.

When they entered the cave, Spock noticed that Jim had taken hold of his Spock’s hand, and it took a little weight off of Spock’s shoulders to see the simple affection in such a place. He took Kirk’s hand in his also.

The cave opened up into a large chamber, as immense size as their domed prison. On a raised dais in the back of the chamber was a throne made of two trees. One tree was in full bloom, white flowers adorning lush green leaves. The other tree was dead, its gnarled branches twining with the living branches highlighting the lushness and its own desiccation in contrast. Seated on this fitting throne was the creature, pure vitriol aimed at their procession as it entered the threshold.

“You face more than death by opposing her,” Tane murmured.

“We know the risks,” Jim said, determined. “It’s insane and the odds are completely against us. We’ve gotta try anyway.” He moved away with his Spock to discuss something.

“You know, I literally died minutes after uttering words similar to that,” Kirk muttered to Spock, and Spock looked at him steadily for a few seconds before replying.

“You are-“

“Irrational? Illogical?”

“-an idiot.”

Kirk’s amused smile was cut off when the creature spoke.

“To me.”

Tane flew for the first time since Spock had known him, perching on a crag of rock above her massive throne. They finally arrived at the foot of her throne. She crossed her good leg over the decayed one and rested her arms on the armrests.

“I thought torture wouldn’t be fun anymore. On the contrary, I’ve decided it’s extremely exciting when you get more options. How much can each of you endure before I you will do whatever it takes for it to stop? This emotion both Humans and Vulcans share-love. What makes it stronger than all others? What will it take to eradicate this emotion?”

Spock glanced at Tane. Their lives and fates were in his hands. Tane appeared conflicted, and it was little wonder that he did; if they failed here today, what little joy and freedom he had under the monster’s rule would be taken away. He would certainly lose his position as trusted guide and may even be taken from his sphere and placed in the empty blankness of space beyond. Or perhaps he would suffer a fate similar to Prometheus, placed on a crag for eternity while each day a bird would eat his liver, all for giving aid to man. There were indeed worse things than death.

She swept her healthy arm high in the air and Jim was whipped over and placed upon a stone slab. Coils of rope shot out, wrapping securely around his wrists, binding him to the platform. His young counterpart was deathly pale, trying to move forward but held back by invisible strings.

“So handsome you are,” she cooed, placing her hand on Jim’s cheek. Jim moaned deliriously, writhing wantonly against his restraints. “Your eyes are quite vivid. I think I’ll harvest what I like best first, then play a while. I think it’s only fair that you get to experience death like the rest have.”

Spock caught a movement out of the edge of his peripheral vision. Tane was crawling down the wall to the head of the throne, wings beating softly, face grimly resolved. The creature was focused utterly on Jim, leaving her vulnerable. Tane seized the moment-with an incredible speed, Tane flew to the creature’s head. Faster than Spock could process, Tane lashed out, plunging his hand into the beast’s one living eye socket. The creature screamed long and loud, tearing Tane from her face and throwing him to the ground.

His counterpart acted first, launching himself at the creature. Spock followed and they both dodged her flailing limbs. The younger Spock gripped the tattered skin of the left side of her face and Spock latched onto the right side, then together they threw all three of them into a mind meld.

*

Dark. Sordid.

No empathy, no remorse, no care for others. A true sociopath. Everything was made for a purpose, her purpose. Everything made for amusement, for personal gain. Nothing mattered. Memories that went back millions of years. Must block, must not be consumed by the sheer volume that could flood their minds and make them atrophy, unable to contain the breadth of knowledge.

Behind all this, a dizzying emptiness.

No beginning, no end, only the desire to avoid boredom, to leave the meaninglessness behind.

There was no concept of death, of end. No concept of life except through others, for she had never lived her own. For eons, alone, not a soul to speak to, not a soul like hers, no kindred spirits.

Hatred. Twisted. Must destroy who has seen this.

Stop. Make it stop. This is pain. Excruciating. Must. Not. Die.

Pain. Their minds. Too much.

*

Jim pulled Spock from the monster, releasing him from the meld. Kirk had freed him while both Spocks had been deep in a mind meld, faces twisted with the effort to bring her pain. They had succeeded in the first stage of their plan. She was now writhing on the ground in agony.

“Tane, now!” Jim shouted, cradling Spock close to his body. In an instant they were all on the transporter platform of the Enterprise.

“Jim! Spock!” Bones yelled, footsteps pounding on metal. He crashed to his knees next to Jim, hands flying to his med kit, running the tricorder over Spock. The creature was on the pad, taking up most of it, her legs spilling over the edge. The security guards recoiled from her, but to their credit they didn’t back away. Jim left Spock in Bones’ care and rushed to the transporter control room.

“Kirk here. Scotty, the entrance to the black hole should be visible.” Jim looked to Tane to confirm, and Tane nodded, staring worriedly at the creature.

“Captain, there’s nothing on the sensors!” Chekov cut in.

“Your sensors won’t work,” Jim said. “Just trust me. Look out the viewscreen, get people to the observation deck and just look. It’s visible.”

“Aye Captain,” Scotty said. There was a crash from the transporter pad. Jim swiftly turned his head to see that the creature was thrashing with greater strength. The guards used their phasers, switching to full power when their blasts did nothing.

“Phasers aren’t working, Captain!” Lt. Patricks yelled.

Jim watched helplessly as the creature blindly crawled across the platform, breathing hard, growling with unsuppressed rage.

“We’ve found the black hole!” Scotty yelled from one of the guard’s communicators.

“Go, go, go!” Jim screamed.

A burst of power rocked the bridge, sending him roughly to his knees. The red alert sirens blared as he struggled to his feet, disoriented in the chaos of fallen crew and flashing lights.

The creature, incredibly, was still moving, progressing forward unaffected by the pitch and heave of the Enterprise as it careened to the center of the black hole. The hull whined at the strain of increased gravity when the creature closed her decaying hand on Lt. Graves’ leg. The lieutenant fell on her back, screaming in agony. Jim raced into the room, stumbling into the navigation console when the ship lurched abruptly starboard. He ignored the dull throb of pain and ran forward, spurred on by Graves’ sobs. He kicked the monster bitch in the face, over and over, most likely confusing her more than harming her. She released the lieutenant and grabbed at his leg, and he paused long enough for her to trip him up.

She rose as high as she could, leaning forward grotesquely with her two empty eye sockets directed at him and her arms lifted to deliver a heavy blow. Jim rolled to his knees, ready to launch himself at her and fight.

They hit the event horizon of the black hole. The ship let out a metallic screech as if she had been given voice to protest. Jim was knocked back by the impact, slamming into a partition back first. He slid to the ground, stunned as the Enterprise quaked fearfully, emergency sirens crying out in panic, lights flashing on and off for aid. Jim urged her on, praying that Scotty was down in engineering coaxing her engines to fight. The shaking tapered off, and Jim knew they were safe. The lights steadied and the ground beneath him merely vibrated with the aftershocks seconds later, proving him right.

The creature was writhing on the ground, choking, dying, her death throes piercingly loud in the absence of sirens. Jim stood shakily and limped over to where she lay, watching until she breathed her last, body going completely still. Ambassador Spock had a hand to Lt. Graves face, relieving her of the insanity caused by the creature. Beside them was Tane, spread out on the ground with his wings fanned out, struggling to breathe. Jim knelt over him and touched his shoulder.

“So fucking stupid-we didn’t think about whether you’d be able to exist here either-“

“I knew, Captain. I chose to come here, I chose this. After all this time, I choose to rest.”

“Thank you, Tane,” Jim said quietly, overwhelmed with sorrow. “You’re a good friend.”

Tane nodded weakly, smiling. His body gave one last violent tremor, then stilled. Jim sat with him for a few seconds, his grief giving way to fierce elation because they did it. They were going home, and they were safe.

“Jim,” Bones said sharply from several feet away. Jim was on his feet in an instant, and to his horror, Spock was not recuperating as the elder Spock had. He was shaking, gasping, hyperventilating, nose and ears bleeding. Bones ran a tricorder over him, face falling at the readouts.

“His pulse is fading, blood pressure off the charts.” The hiss of the hypospray filled the silence. Jim gathered Spock into his arms, a feeling of déjà vu sweeping over him. Was this how it was? One always losing the other? This couldn’t be happening. After all that, losing Spock again, it was unbearable. He looked desperately at Bones who looked desperately back, shaking his head.

“I can’t keep you, can I?” Jim asked Spock in a brittle voice, holding back a sob. Spock’s eyes had been unfocused, but they finally came to rest on Jim.

“You-” Spock coughed wetly, then quietly finished. “Won’t lose me. Not really, Jim.”

The effort to speak had been too much, Spock eyes closed, his breathing erratic and shallow. It wouldn’t be long.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” Kirk nearly yelled in frustration. “He’s younger and did the same thing you did, Spock. Why must he die?”

“We touched different portions of her body,” the elder Spock explained. “Though I still should be experiencing a like condition. Unless-the bond! It is logical; our bond allowed you to give me your strength.”

“Well, congratulations on how awesome you guys are,” Jim spat, not looking away from his Spock’s slack face for a second.

“You misunderstand. If you two shared a marriage bond, he could gain physical strength from you.”

Jim lifted his head, now looking at the elder Spock, an inkling of hope pervading through his sorrow. “Your point being?”

“Well, there’s no time like the present for a shotgun wedding! Spock can do it,” Kirk said excitedly, pushing his Spock over to them. The elder Spock complied, reaching for Spock and Jim’s faces. He began reciting ritual in High Vulcan. Jim braced himself, remembering what a mind meld felt like, but he gasped aloud when his mind opened to Spock’s. Whereas his first mind meld was an info dump and one-sided, this meld was calm, gentle. For the first time in Jim’s life, he didn’t feel alone, felt whole. It was like Spock’s mind was the summation of all the pieces that were missing in Jim’s soul. Jim felt Spock’s pain, but it did not cripple him or cause him pain in return. Instead it felt secondary, surmountable. Jim gave Spock his strength, whispered soothing words through the connection as if his lips glided on Spock’s skin. The pain faded, releasing Spock from its hold and allowing him to rest, loved by Jim.

Too soon it was over, the elder Spock’s fingers leaving his face. Spock lay in Jim’s lap, unconscious but breathing evenly, face wan. Bones ran his tricorder over Spock, a wave of relief rushing over his face.

“He’s slowly normalizing. We need to get him into sickbay. This hoodoo is all fine and dandy but I need good old-fashioned medical assurance.”

*

Spock did not awaken for three days. When he did, he almost regretted it. It seemed that every person on the ship wanted to visit him, some longer than others. Doctor McCoy complained about Spock’s well-wishers clogging up ‘his’ sickbay, but Spock noted that the complaints were delivered with a smile, even when he threatened to saw Spock’s ears off if he died again.

The thought was almost as disturbing as McCoy’s manic grin, so Spock had naturally pointed out that post-mortem threats were illogical. McCoy had actually smiled fondly and said, “Never thought I’d say this, but I missed that.”

Spock found he had nothing to say to that declaration.

Nyota had been one of his first visitors. Spock had rejoiced in seeing her again, but had to endure her crying and also threatening bodily harm if he died again. Her smiles were softer than the Doctor’s, thus less deranged, so Spock had not bothered to argue with this, deciding that this was one of those universal human quirks that defied all sense.

8.5 days after their return, Spock received a message from Sarek, who was “happy to hear that you are alive.” Spock read it over and over again, unable to comprehend his father telling him that he was ‘happy’ about anything.

Spock would have been overwhelmed had he not been able to sense Jim in the back of his mind, a calming presence in the midst of chaos, and even he could not have guessed that such a dynamic and chaotic individual would lend that sort of peace. Jim visited often, but was constantly busy captaining the ship and debriefing Starfleet of their fantastical mission. Jim refrained from informing Starfleet of Tane, feeling that it was disrespectful to allow others to study him for science.

“I know it’s important for science, Spock, but he gave his life to help us. The least we can do is give him a proper burial. Besides, we don’t know where he really came from and he’s the only one left, so what does it matter?”

Spock had reluctantly agreed.

He did not hear from the elder Kirk or Spock until 10.2 days after their return. His counterpart had confided that before he had left for the other dimension, he had been in the throes of Pon Farr and had resumed his previous state upon their return. Spock had used every ounce of his control not to picture what they had been doing in the guest quarters over the past several days.

However, for the first time in his life, he found that he did not dread Pon Farr. In fact, he was eagerly anticipating it.

13.9 days after their return, Spock was allowed to return to his quarters on light duty. Jim came to his quarters after his shift, appearing ill at ease.

“Our counterparts just told me that they want to be dropped off at the time vortex planet, the one with that Guardian of Forever thing. Spock said he needed to return a ship, but I think they’re thinking about using it to go back to their own reality.”

Spock leaned back in his desk chair, lacing his fingers together in contemplation.

“It is logical. While DNA analysis can prove that they are indeed from an alternate universe, they have no public record of their existence here. They may instead decide to stay and help with the continuing efforts to rebuild the Vulcan species.”

“I’d miss them.” Jim gave him an amused smile. “They’re like us as cranky old men. Except don’t quote me on that, because I plan on staying sexy forever. Bones made his first fat joke yesterday.”

Spock’s mouth twitched. “On the other hand, I am unsure if there is room in one universe for two Jim Kirks.”

Jim laughed and Spock felt the echo of it in his mind. Laughter subsiding, Jim leaned forward to rest his elbows on Spock’s desk.

“There’s just one other thing I wanted to talk to you about. This bond…we can remove it, can’t we?”

Spock’s insides went cold. “I had assumed-it can be removed.”

“No wait, I felt that-you don’t want to remove it, do you? I mean, we haven’t even talked about,” Jim floundered, gesturing to the space between them. “What happened between us back there, back on…Vulcan.”

Spock’s eyes softened at the memory. “While our bonding was unprecedented and unprepared for, I find that I am most pleased that it occurred.”

“Really?” Jim asked, a smile building on his face.

“I am incapable of lying, Captain.”

“Bullshit,” Jim said, fully grinning and shaking his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe this. I mean, we haven’t even dated yet. I think we’re going at this a little backwards.”

Spock reached across the desk, extending two fingers. Jim clumsily met them with two of his own. Spock allowed himself a real smile, and was rewarded with a look of complete awe from Jim as if he couldn’t believe that he was the reason for it.

“I was made to understand that married individuals do go on dates in most human cultures.”

“Well look at us,” Jim said warmly, pulling his fingers from Spock’s. “Married. In space.”

“Will it offend you if we were to wait a short interim before telling my father?”

Jim just laughed.

*

“There it is. You two can take it back to the Enterprise instead of the transporter,” Kirk said, pointing to the hull of the Surok. The four of them were several yards from the Guardian as the sun slowly set in the distance.

“Are you guys sure you don’t want to stay longer?” Jim asked for probably the tenth time.

“And what, learn how to knit? I don’t even have a piloting license here,” Kirk said.

“To be fair, you no longer have a piloting license there either,” Spock said. Kirk swatted him playfully on the arm.

“I’m a god damn historical hero, unless you were embellishing. I could probably saddle the Starfleet Chief of Staff and no one would complain.”

“Future looks good, Spock,” Jim said to his Spock, smug.

“And how are the newlyweds?” Kirk couldn’t help but ask. He could sense Spock shooting daggers his way, but what the hey, an old man needs a hobby.

“We are doing quite well,” the younger Spock answered. Jim stopped looking smug and blushed shyly. Oh, they were positively adorable.

“I’m happy for you. For both of you,” Kirk said, turning serious. “It took us a long time to get where you are.”

“Thanks,” Jim said, most likely not aware that he was gazing at his first officer, utterly besotted. Kirk’s manly resolve crumpled and he went up and hugged Jim. Jim hugged him back awkwardly, as if he hadn’t had many hugs given to him in his life. Kirk squeezed him tighter, unconsciously apologizing for everything that had happened to Jim, no matter how illogical of him it was. Finally he let go and saluted the younger Spock. The boy appeared relieved and saluted back, probably thanking Surak that Kirk didn’t hug him too. His Spock saluted them both.

“I am leaving a tricorder recording behind when we leave. You will be able to analyze its contents and locate us if you should require our presence,” Spock told them.

“In laymen terms, we’ll be keeping in touch,” Kirk said, winking. Jim handed them two communicators so they would be able to contact Starfleet upon their return, his eyes misty.

“Just don’t go running around the galaxy right off the bat,” Jim said. “At least wait a bit before you get into trouble.”

“You say that as if we’ll listen,” Kirk said. “But don’t worry, we’ll be busy attending to-personal matters before getting back in the hot seat.”

Jim blanched while Commander Spock gave them a disapproving look. “It’s like hearing your parents talk about doing it. Freaking gross.”

Spock raised an eyebrow at Kirk, and Kirk laughed.

“With that uncomfortable moment, I bid you adieu.”

Jim and Spock retreated to the transport shuttle, arms brushing and voices lowered.

They watched as the ship left, Kirk waving as they departed for the Enterprise. Spock finished setting up the tricorder to record and stood beside Kirk.

“Well, Mr. Spock,” Kirk said enthusiastically. “This looks like our stop.”

“Indeed Admiral,” Spock returned. Kirk looked at their surroundings, marveling at how far they had traveled to get to this point.

“So Picard, is he still captain of the Enterprise?”

“He is the Federation Ambassador to Vulcan now.”

“And you’re an ambassador as well? I wonder if he would like to come over for Sunday supper.”

“I will attempt to issue him an invitation. I am certain you will come to respect him; he’s a dynamic individual as well.”

Kirk narrowed his eyes and poked Spock in the chest. “Don’t tell me you melded with him too! Do you give those out as handshakes now? Should I be jealous here?”

Spock looked at him mischievously. “We were amiable. However, he did often accuse me of ‘cowboy diplomacy.’”

“You, Spock?” Kirk asked in disbelief. He chuckled. “I can’t wait to see how he’ll feel about my diplomatic skills.”

“Chagrined, I might imagine,” Spock said.

“Well,” Kirk said, rubbing his hands together. “Ready to dive in? The Romulans sound like they could use our help. How does ‘Ambassador Kirk’ sound?’”

Spock turned to him, expression laid open. “You wish to become an ambassador?”

Kirk moved close to Spock, taking his hands in his own. “I should have followed you to Romulus decades ago. I won’t make the same mistake again. I may not have grown old with you, but I am determined to finish out my life with you.”

Spock looked ready to weep at that, so Kirk pulled him in for a kiss instead. When they pulled back, Kirk saw and noted every wrinkle, every line, every gray hair neatly arranged, older than Kirk had ever imagined living to see, but his eyes were young and bright as when they'd first met all those years ago. He was still beautiful.

“I’m telling every single person I meet that you are mine. And we’re going to adopt a kid. Or a pet, something that can travel well. Do you want a real wedding? I’m fond of beaches but I don’t know if you can pull off Bermuda shorts-“

“Jim,” Spock said, placing a hand gently over his mouth. “I am feeling rather patient. There is time yet for future plans.”

Kirk nodded, indescribably pleased that Spock was starting to believe that this was permanent. They faced the Guardian.

“Take us home, if you don’t mind,” Kirk said. Clouds of mist issued forth and, holding hands tightly, they passed through the archway.


-End notes-

Good lord, to think this behemoth started with just me wanting to write Kirk Prime coming back from the dead, and now it has spiraled into the longest, most experimental thing I have ever written. More than that, I had a desperate need to see TOS Kirk and Spock interact as husbands, see them reunite, cuddle, flirt, and, in general, gain back some of those many lost years. As a hard K/S shipper, my personal canon is that they were married, and if you happen to think that way, their love story is the most tragic thing in existence. This is the ultimate fix-it fic and is everything I wish could happen.

The plot of this story was inspired, strangely enough, by an episode of Star Trek: The Animated Series called The Magicks of Megas-Tu. When idly wondering how I could resurrect Kirk Prime, I borrowed the intriguing idea that, in another dimension, magic could be real. That's about all I took from this cracked out episode, though. Gotta love TAS.

The main villain was inspired by Hel, a god of Norse mythology who is half-dead, half-alive. Originally, I had several names for her, but nothing sat right with me and so I decided to make her nameless, just a title, which actually helps dehumanize her.

The song playing in Kirk Prime's cabin is "I Can't Smile Without You" by The Carpenters. I like the 'light-years away' part and I like pairing TOS with genuine oldies.

In Maori and other Polynesian mythology, Tane was the god of forests and light. He created the tui bird and, by some accounts, man. It actually fits pretty well and I like the strong, natural feel of it.

Spock Prime quotes Proverbs 10:14, the NIV version when he rebukes Kirk Prime for playing matchmaker with Jim: "Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin."

The poem Kirk Prime quotes in their Risan honeymoon suite is Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach." I am indescribably pleased that I finally got to use that wonderful poem in something.

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