Every Living Thing Dies Alone
I woke up today and Costco called me back and said I can come in for an interview on Thursday. My grandma also works there so it should be interesting. When I came downstairs everyone was gone. Normally I would be excited because I have the house to myself. Having this place to myself also reminds myself that I don't go to school. Which would make me feel good. Today was different. I felt lonely and really started to think if I will be able to support myself. Will I be able to choose life instead of going around without a care in the world. Am I going to make my girlfriend proud. If I do choose life and get a real career and go to school am I going to have time for Caity. Is Caity still going to want to see me. Usually this kind of drama makes me sick, but its real. I couldn't imagine a world without Caity. I would be completely alone. Physically and mentally. My psych teacher, when I was a senior, told me that people have mental health days. Days where people need to just get themselves together and snap back into reality. I have had one or two. I think today is just another one. This doesn't happen very often at all. Maybe once a year. But just realizing that makes me feel better. Maybe it's just the thought of life without Caity that brings me down. Being alone and feeling worthless. I would have no one. Dragging my decaying corpse around only if I absolutely had to. But I know that this relationship is for real, because of my heart and hers are one. Our love is eternal. Its immortal. In a way it's like a vampire. We feed off each other to keep each of us alive eternally. As long as you skip the Transylvanian accent, the pale skin, the claw-like hands and fingernails, the eyes with the look of desire, and most of all the fangs. (sorry I have a crazy thing for vampires). Caity and I do suck each others' blood though. Oh yeah. I fear for my future since it is so unpredictable. But I know everything will work out, because it usually does......and giney will always be around!!