(no subject)
Unloved
Here I am again.. standing outside your house at night.. Watching you ... and him.
Ring ... ring..
” Hello? .. ”
”....”
” Hello?.. who is it?” a tired sigh
” It’s him again, isn't it?” I can hear his voice in the background ”Just hang up”
And then I hear the unmistakable sound that signals the end of the call.
You don't know what this feels like, do you?
Knowing that you are so close, jet so far.
Knowing that you are in the arms of somebody else.
Knowing that you have forgotten me, and everything we had together..
I'm just standing here in the rain again staring up at your new house.. house not home... home is at my place in my arms... not his.
I see up at your house and see you .. still standing by the phone in the kitchen..
Before you went to answer, you were washing the dishes. Now the water was cooling, the unfinished dishes lay forgotten.. you are just staring into space.. I wonder what you are thinking about... are you thinking about me? About us? .. Before I could come to an conclusion, I saw him come up behind you... hugging you around the waist...
I saw you smile ... turning around in his embrace, so I could no longer see your beautiful face.
He took you by the arm and led you out of the kitchen, turning of the lights as he went... he took you to the bedroom.. I could still see you, but the figures where blurred by the curtains, and possibly , by my own tears.. I hate it when this happens.. When i am forced to watch you have sex with him.. have sex , not make love, like you and I used to do..
You’re done now .. the figures behind the curtain have stopped moving.. i guess you’re asleep... how I wish I could see your face.. you are so beautiful when your asleep..
I’m still standing there when I see you rise from the bed and walk towards the window.. you pull it aside, just a little on the side.. you look out the window at me... our eyes meet.. your eyes are sad.. but then again so are mine.. My cheek is still wet, not just by the pouring rain but also by my tears..
You break our gaze and I see him getting up beside you.. before he walks into the kitchen again and picks up the phone.. while he dials he looks out the window and straight at me.. his eyes are filled with hate.. The look is mutual.
When I returned my gaze at the bedroom window, you where no longer there. My eyes searched through all the windows before they set on the front door when it suddenly opened.
There you were .. running toward me in the pouring rain, only clad in a underwear and a long sweater... you came into a stop before me.. looking up at me with sad eyes..
“Please leave Yunho” you said
“Please leave before the cops come”
Your eyes were begging for me to listen to you..
“Changmin just called them.. They'll be here any minute..” I didn’t answer at first.. just looked at you with tears in my eyes..
“ But Jaejoong.. please!!” I cried desperately, for the first time saying something
“No yunho.. we are over, I love Changmin now”
“But please give me another chance”
“No Yunho.. you have had enough chances.. Now go” he gave me a little push before he ran back inside the house without looking back..
I fell to my knees, screaming his name, screaming for him to come back, to give me another chance. But he didn’t come back.
Instead I heard the siren coming up behind me..
“Come on big guy.. it seems to be the cell for you tonight..” I did not struggle.. What was the use.. My jaejoong had left me and there was nothing left here for me now.. now that I'm unloved..
How was it? Good or bad? Comment please^^
This fic was heavely inspired by Espen Lind's song Unloved mv...
I added the link if you want to see it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OSiO3E_aaI