Nov 17, 2009 22:52
I've done some thinking lately, but what's new, eh! I've been mostly considering the topics of love, romance, and relationships; in part inspired by Heinlein's "Time Enough For Love" and the several marriages that I've attended this year alone. It seems to me that everyone's finding a date to the big dance and I'm one of the few that's dragging his feet.
However, I'm starting to wonder if I even want to go to the dance.
It's not that I simply crave sex. No, I seek something deeper than sex; something more substantial. Sex is better than steak, but a man can live on steak. A man needs steak; something that fulfills and sustains yet does not diminish the man. This isn't limited to men either as women are not simply meat. They do have tender, delicious flesh that I long to sink my teeth into though.
Since I've started to read "Time Enough For Love", some of my views on the topic of love has changed. I still seek a partner-in-crime for a companion, that has not changed. Another thing that remains unchanged is that I have not found a companion. Presently, all of the non-sexual and non-romantic duties of a companion are being fulfilled by friends. They are a motley bunch and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Maybe a case of beer though. Seriously though, they're a good bunch, but I don't want to sleep with them if for no other reasons than it would screw up our dynamic and that I'd be gambling with a good friendship to potential lose them when it ended.
Yes, it would end at some point. All things end, especially mortal romantic relationships. Either we'd break it off before things got too serious or we'd go all the way until death parted us. However, that likelihood is far off in the future if at all.
So, where does this leave me? Wondering if I even want to go to the dance, that's where. If my friends can fulfill all but two duties of an companion and a man can live longer on steak than sex, then why waste my time seeking a companion? It's been sometime since I had a true companion and maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe not.
I'm at an impasse it seems. I could find a date to the dance or I could find someone to sit on my car and drink beer in the parking lot. Either is ideal, but I think I much rather prefer the latter.