Give me accident and emergency
I'm resuscitating my livejournal because I'm on the cusp of entering a new stage in my life. In less than a week's time, I'll officially be living in Preston. Why - for the love of all that is holy - Preston?? I hear you cry. Well, the fact is that I need to move somewhere. My time since leaving university (in July 2006) has essentially been a protracted stay in rehab. What was supposed to be a summer spent working out what I wanted to do with myself somehow became nigh-on two years of IGNORING THE WORLD. Home offers many alluring things (like comfort, security and - in my case - a helluva view) but these things are worthless if you haven't earned them, and only serve to cosset, inhibit and subtly oppress a person. Granted, it's not been a complete waste: I gained important experience in my ten months working for the job centre, a job I enjoyed and felt mattered in some small way, but equally an experience which made it clear to me what I don't want to become.
So - again - I hear you cry: WHY Preston?? Well, there's Feef for one thing. Feef gives me courage to live, and her company immediately dissolves my neuroses and inhibitions (the ones which you think you overcame long ago, but which your parents can't help but have an alarming ability to reawaken, regardless of how well you get on with them). I've known Fiona since we were silly young pups of 16, but a number of factors in those strange times kept us from achieving the level of friendship we subsequently have. I can't overstate what Feef means to me these days. Girl is vital. Moving to Preston means I get to hang out with her on a regular basis. And - after two years - I'm sick and tired of my friends being so bloody distant. Seeing my friends has become an EVENT. Which is ludicrous. I want to drop in on people for a cup of tea. Spur of the moment piss-ups. These things have been sorely missed.
Speaking of friends, my imminent move has got me all kinds of retrospective. I've just spent the last couple of hours going through Hannah's livejournal entries of old (
gauloise_girl) and the other night I gorged myself on some
mcxal. I miss these people.
I'm being asked left, right and centre about what my PLANS are. Well, my plans don't extend much past moving to Preston. But the significance of this cannot be underestimated. Sure, people may be perplexed when I don't respond with detailed ambitions about what career I'm intending to take up, but I fail to see what the damn hurry is. I'm 22 (for 3 more days, anyway). I've got all sorts of emotional and existential issues that I need to address, and which take precedence over financial security and a sure sense of where my working life is headed. And, as I'm lucky enough to not be responsible for anyone else other than myself at this stage in my life, I see it as my good fortune that I have the room to work these things out. Complacency has always been a devil for me, and I'm fighting all situations which invite it in. I'm feeling braver than I've ever been. Bring it on.
So - again - I hear you cry: WHY Preston?? Well, there's Feef for one thing. Feef gives me courage to live, and her company immediately dissolves my neuroses and inhibitions (the ones which you think you overcame long ago, but which your parents can't help but have an alarming ability to reawaken, regardless of how well you get on with them). I've known Fiona since we were silly young pups of 16, but a number of factors in those strange times kept us from achieving the level of friendship we subsequently have. I can't overstate what Feef means to me these days. Girl is vital. Moving to Preston means I get to hang out with her on a regular basis. And - after two years - I'm sick and tired of my friends being so bloody distant. Seeing my friends has become an EVENT. Which is ludicrous. I want to drop in on people for a cup of tea. Spur of the moment piss-ups. These things have been sorely missed.
Speaking of friends, my imminent move has got me all kinds of retrospective. I've just spent the last couple of hours going through Hannah's livejournal entries of old (
gauloise_girl) and the other night I gorged myself on some
mcxal. I miss these people.
I'm being asked left, right and centre about what my PLANS are. Well, my plans don't extend much past moving to Preston. But the significance of this cannot be underestimated. Sure, people may be perplexed when I don't respond with detailed ambitions about what career I'm intending to take up, but I fail to see what the damn hurry is. I'm 22 (for 3 more days, anyway). I've got all sorts of emotional and existential issues that I need to address, and which take precedence over financial security and a sure sense of where my working life is headed. And, as I'm lucky enough to not be responsible for anyone else other than myself at this stage in my life, I see it as my good fortune that I have the room to work these things out. Complacency has always been a devil for me, and I'm fighting all situations which invite it in. I'm feeling braver than I've ever been. Bring it on.