A Rude Awakening.
Man I woke up today to a freakin FOG HORN!!!!!!!! Thanks alot Case and Tim. Man that thing was freakin loud. After talking with smalls, and travis about random crap until about 4 A.M., i have to say im tired. Of everything. Last night i had kind of a wake up call. I was just looking back on the Stupid stuff i've Done. Like hope, thats been my biggest mistake in life so far. Whatever, I've no need for anyones sympathy, would it ever exist, I dont want. I want to just be left alone. Especially by this stupid heart of mine. Always Falling and whatnot. It's getting very old fast. I mean my life is going to pass me by, here in this stupid little hick town, where no one ever happens. I need to get out. Not in 3 years when i hopefully graduate. Right Now. Of course thats no going to happen, so i guess i"ve nothing more to do than Waste Away, here, in the remnants of my own miserable Failures. AHHHHH. Whatever. I'm sorry any one who reads this, I'm having somewhat of a small crisis inside of me. Its just ive seen some things i would have rather not have had to see. I mean the kind of thing that just kills you to see, like being stabbed in the back with a DAGGER, or being tossed into a huge THORN bush. I mean i might as well have been slain that night. But im just going to forget about it. Theres no sense in just walking around a grave yard, its not going to bring anyone back. I know. And in the midst of all this chaos and destruction, Theres but one sliver of hope. But if i were to approach this i would sooner put out the candle with my clumsy breath, rather than bathe in its warmth. So im left to just watch it from afar. Nothing new there, its what i do best. Man im so fed up with this, my god has either abandoned me (not likely) or im being tested in some sort of trial. whatever it is i guess all i can do is ride it through, i mean what else would i do? Just give up and be consumed. No. Thats not the fate i wish to have. Not ever. I'd rather live through the scaring and burns that im bound to have, then just give in to everything, everyone. So its been decided, I will just go on, screw hope, keep a steady path towards getting the hell out of here, and leaving everything behind. Forgetting everyone and everything that ive been through. Except for James and Travis. Thats it. Everything else, to hell with it. It's kind of funny really, how everywhere theres paths people are taking, right and wrong, truth and lies, death and life, and theres some that just stop at a crossroads and kind of hope that someone will give them good directions. But where does it all end up? Does it matter? I dont know, or i probably wouldn't be hear.