thoughts
well i havent updated in awhile so i figure its about time..well school ended monday and i couldnt have been happier but i still have 3 more regents to take before its really summer and i can not wait. Junior year was definately one of my most trying years and i am so happy to say its over and that im going to be a senior. i guess the most appealing thing right now is college and being somewhere different with different people and a different atmosphere, i guess i just want change but i would want to keep the same friends. That will be my downfall, having to say goodbye to my friends, i am gonna be such a mess the days everyone leaves but until then im just gonna have a blast. i've really been thinking about a lot, and all that stuff seems to be depressing to me and i couldnt tell you why. it probably mostly has something to do with boys. i tell ya, i dont know what so appealing about them but it never leaves my mind, how they look at you, speak to you, trying to figure out what theyre thinking. its so complicated so thats why im always like you have got to just think about something else and not worry about it. you think i could do that haha no way. and everything i seem to watch on tv or listen to on the radio has to do with people being in love life being great no problems to worry about. if only thats how life was, i would be elated. too bad its not. i think ive come to the conclusion that im a very needy person, needy and emotional which are probably two things you would never want to mix but oh well. oh whatever i really dont want to think about this anymore so i think a good drunken night is an order..that would make everything better at least for a night oh it sounds wonderful..too bad it will never happen or will it??