epiphany
i love him.
i really do.
but, he can not expect to be able to give me such a hard time for over a week, like he is doing now, without me completely losing it.
i have finally snapped.
i told him to call me when he figured out what he wanted, because he definitely isn't trying too hard to make it with me.
and secretly, i hope he never calls.
i just want to be the old me again.
i've never walked on egg shells my entire life.
i've never lost every "friend" i've had, which wasn't completely my fault in this scenario but i'll take the blame.
and i've always stayed in it for the wrong reasons.
christmas.
i love his family.
i want to be happy, and not alone.
I was waiting for a cross-town train in the london underground
When it struck me that i've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound like a movie so i changed
My plans and rented a camera and a van and then i called you
"i need you to pretend that we are in love again" and you agreed to
I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in
The script it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it
The marker snapped and i yelled "quiet on the set"
And then called "action!"
And i kissed you in a stye that clark gable would have admired
(i thought it classic)
I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?
i really do.
but, he can not expect to be able to give me such a hard time for over a week, like he is doing now, without me completely losing it.
i have finally snapped.
i told him to call me when he figured out what he wanted, because he definitely isn't trying too hard to make it with me.
and secretly, i hope he never calls.
i just want to be the old me again.
i've never walked on egg shells my entire life.
i've never lost every "friend" i've had, which wasn't completely my fault in this scenario but i'll take the blame.
and i've always stayed in it for the wrong reasons.
christmas.
i love his family.
i want to be happy, and not alone.
I was waiting for a cross-town train in the london underground
When it struck me that i've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound like a movie so i changed
My plans and rented a camera and a van and then i called you
"i need you to pretend that we are in love again" and you agreed to
I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in
The script it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it
The marker snapped and i yelled "quiet on the set"
And then called "action!"
And i kissed you in a stye that clark gable would have admired
(i thought it classic)
I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?