Peace
A lot and a little has been going on in my life. A lot of thoughts, emotions, inner termoil and decisions. Yet little has occured in the true eb of my life. People have faded, or should I say I have faded. All that I once knew I no longer grasp. I have been sitting here alone in my room treding water, attempting not to break upon the rock that is myself. Occasianly visited by ghosts of my past, reminders of what once was and will never be again. I am not an innocent man. I have commited crimes against morality, against honor and virtue, and most important of all, I have commited crimes against love. I repent for these crimes as I lay awake at night, remembering all that has come to pass and all that I cannot bear to know about myself; my past, my present, and my future. I must come to terms with the fact that I am different from those I seek to live in happyness with. I am not who they want me to be and no measure of my trying will ever change that. The world is a fickle place and yet I am firm, I am reselute. For my heart tells me what is right and what is wrong, my heart guides me to speak and feel. It is this that makes me different, for those who live and dream.. who are but vesels for their hearts command, suffer indefanetly for the apathy that reigns supreme in our world. I am not a man of simplicity, I cannot live my life as a creature of oppertunity. Who enjoys the moments that are good and attempts to avoid those that are not despite the effects such an attitude has upon those around me. It is in my nature to take into consideration the well being of every person I cross paths with. It is in my heart to be a friend when any need a friend, to be a voice when any need a guide, to be an ear when any need the comfort, to be a hero when any need saving, and to be a lover to but one who lights my eyes and fills my world with perpous. Yet as such, I cannot function. My devotion to the teachings of dreamers has exiled me from living a life among those I love. Complications that are but a mere inconvenience to most haunt my waking dreams. I am falling, my feet have left all grounds they once thought were firm, and where I shall land I do not yet know. A great urge has risen inside of me, to stand firm again, to shout to the heavens my name and swear again to uphold the honor of those who dream of a world unlike my own. A world where love is real and overcomes all things. For this urge, for what I have written here and for what I know in my heart I will forever bear I know I must suffer. I only hope that one day my evenings will not be haunted by ghosts nor my nights by vivid scars. So I might wake up one morning upon a bed beside the one I love, in a home I call my own, in a world that is not the one I now know. To many of you, these are but words from a person you once knew, who always said such things of life and love. To others, this is a reminder of what I am, because it's all I can be. And to all, this is a goodbye. I will never again put words down in this place. Until we meet again, under better circumstances, in a better world. Fare well.