Well here I am, don't know how to say this, only thing I know is awkward silence.

[biggere]

Your eyelids close when you're around me, to shut me out.
Too many things running through my head. All the things I've done, how hard I've tried, and yet, how alone I remain. I do my best, always, to extend every inch of courtesy and compassion. I do my best. Please, someone, do something other than take my best and walk away. I don't know how many

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[biggere]

Perhaps I am in love with the notion, in love with the storys, and the promise. Love has always captivated me, inspired me, and in many ways motivated me. The Eric you knew several years ago gave up on life, sure I didn't see it that way, but I had. I did have other dreams, I laughed and smiled just a bit more than I do now, but I hadn't a notion of what love was capable of... good or bad. As I have matured, so has my ideology. This very moment, this point in my life, these years, are the ones that will determine the man I will be for the rest of my life. If I don't fight for what I believe in now, I never will. It may seem obsurd to many that I should strive so hard in an inward struggle to become someone no one asks me to be, or that it should be a struggle. Before long, I will come to terms with myself and when I do, the notion of love will be a hope among others, among the many dreams I have in life. I seek love only now, I think, because I am in such inward and outward termoil with the world, that I desire that foot hold, that warmth, the strength of another. But I am wrong to feel as if I need love to find myself. I hope some of this made sense, don't worry Dana, I'm the same happy go lucky nephew you've always known, this is just one of those phases in life that take a moment to overcome.

[moregankira]

But I am wrong to feel as if I need love to find myself.

Just hearing you say this one sentance makes me happy.