Christmas Eve night is always my self-reflection time
Anyways... so... at christmas i kinda always get caught up in this martyr-like complex where i pretend like i dont want anything for christmas and like i just care about getting other people stuff... but really... of course i want things... it gets kinda hard at this age cuz most anything i want i just go out and buy myself... and the things that are too expensive to buy... well they are too expensive to ask for as well... so this year i figured gift cards would be fine... but my mom disagreed... she wanted me to have something fun to open... but i couldnt think of anything that i wanted besides one of those super comfy blankets that they sell at Brookstone... but i didnt get one... anyways... the point of this... is that i really hope i dont get all down tomorrow morning when i dont really have much to open... cuz thats what always happens... i think i just need to work on making a christmas list really early next year...
hmm... the other thing i wanted to write is that im kinda realizing that i will never be as good a person as i want myself to be... i think i just really need to find the mean between being so overly critical that i hate myself and not trying to better myself at all... but yeah... it think the above part is that im really trying to find the mean between being generous and giving and being willing to accept things from others... alas though... im sure at the end of the day... or at the very least, at the end of the week (we like to shop after christmas sales in my family) i will have absolutly nothing to worry about...
oh and i got good grades this semester... now i just need to sucker book money from my family to do so next semester
hmm... the other thing i wanted to write is that im kinda realizing that i will never be as good a person as i want myself to be... i think i just really need to find the mean between being so overly critical that i hate myself and not trying to better myself at all... but yeah... it think the above part is that im really trying to find the mean between being generous and giving and being willing to accept things from others... alas though... im sure at the end of the day... or at the very least, at the end of the week (we like to shop after christmas sales in my family) i will have absolutly nothing to worry about...
oh and i got good grades this semester... now i just need to sucker book money from my family to do so next semester