Bummer and then some...
I packed my gear and set out of home hoping for a good workout. Instead I got news that the gym closes at 3 pm on Sunday :(. Wasn't too happy with that but at least I managed to meet up with my friend. We went to Pizza Hut for one of them all-you-can eat dinners but I wasn't too hungry. Should've settled for Asian food but I wasn't too bothered either way. We had planned to see Zodiac but instead got stuck into what we usually do on a night out; another all-night computer gaming session. I haven't played this much computer games on a frequent basis since junior high when Red Alert, Diablo and Starcraft dominated my life.
I messaged her again last night to ask how she was doing but got no reply yet again. She's probably busy with exams, or I least I hope that's the reason. I also got into contact with her housemate who's keen on seeing me around next week or something. Asides from a courtesy catch-up call, this is probably one of my last-chance gambles with the cards folded down with nothing left to stake but the remnants of my chips. In other words, a fresh perspective on the situation from somebody very close to her is my ulterior motive. The plan I mentioned in the previous post can't seem to get off the drawing board since there hasn't been the slightest hint of a dialogue between me and her. The housemate thing might be one of those attempts that would either be productive, stagnant or doomed from the start. At the very least nobody can say I didn't fucking try!!
Asides from a social life revolving around very late nights, computer games, Fitness First, dinners and the occasional drink; there isn't much else exciting going on with my life. I have been getting out of my room a lot more than my brother which is saying something considering his hectic social life. Maybe on an unconscious level, I'm trying my damndest to distract myself from the introspective melancholy my nights will eventually degenerate to if left alone.
Managing to find her cyworld (for those who don't know, its like the Korean version of friendster/myspace with every Korean having one) was in itself a convoluted feat which confounded even myself considering the navigation is completely in Korean. I was looking through her photographs and realised what I was doing. I clicked on the close button and stormed out of the room to have a very cold shower (its winter here). I was well on my way to becoming the one thing I never wanted to be; a stalker.
Even now, despite telling myself otherwise; I still feel compelled to type in that memorized address in the navigation bar. It's disgusting, fucked up and I am revolted by my own compunction. For the love of fuck, IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME??????
Anyways, I've rescheduled my visit to the gym for tomorrow. Hopefully my friend will call me before lunch tomorrow so I'll know to lug my gear with me to the city. I've got another appointment but I don't want to commute back just to pack my shit up.
I'll try to clear my thoughts and with a little luck; get some sleep.
I messaged her again last night to ask how she was doing but got no reply yet again. She's probably busy with exams, or I least I hope that's the reason. I also got into contact with her housemate who's keen on seeing me around next week or something. Asides from a courtesy catch-up call, this is probably one of my last-chance gambles with the cards folded down with nothing left to stake but the remnants of my chips. In other words, a fresh perspective on the situation from somebody very close to her is my ulterior motive. The plan I mentioned in the previous post can't seem to get off the drawing board since there hasn't been the slightest hint of a dialogue between me and her. The housemate thing might be one of those attempts that would either be productive, stagnant or doomed from the start. At the very least nobody can say I didn't fucking try!!
Asides from a social life revolving around very late nights, computer games, Fitness First, dinners and the occasional drink; there isn't much else exciting going on with my life. I have been getting out of my room a lot more than my brother which is saying something considering his hectic social life. Maybe on an unconscious level, I'm trying my damndest to distract myself from the introspective melancholy my nights will eventually degenerate to if left alone.
Managing to find her cyworld (for those who don't know, its like the Korean version of friendster/myspace with every Korean having one) was in itself a convoluted feat which confounded even myself considering the navigation is completely in Korean. I was looking through her photographs and realised what I was doing. I clicked on the close button and stormed out of the room to have a very cold shower (its winter here). I was well on my way to becoming the one thing I never wanted to be; a stalker.
Even now, despite telling myself otherwise; I still feel compelled to type in that memorized address in the navigation bar. It's disgusting, fucked up and I am revolted by my own compunction. For the love of fuck, IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME??????
Anyways, I've rescheduled my visit to the gym for tomorrow. Hopefully my friend will call me before lunch tomorrow so I'll know to lug my gear with me to the city. I've got another appointment but I don't want to commute back just to pack my shit up.
I'll try to clear my thoughts and with a little luck; get some sleep.