If you got all the way through...............
Ok, so I haven't updated in a while and there are many reasons. This is actually my first "open" entry in about three months. I just wanted to share with the people that don't ordinarly get to hear me talk about my daily tribulations. This might end up being a very long entry, but I am not really caring much. So here goes.
First off, School is going pretty good. It's not incredible, but it is okay. There are so many classes to complete before my personal immovable graduation day arrives. So much to think about. So much to do. Though I may seem stressed, I can say that I am not. I actually enjoy getting the things I need to get done, completed. It permits me to feel like I am getting something accomplished, and I am. I'm pretty proud of myself right now, in this particular aspect anyway.
Then there comes relationships. I have none. There, I said it. I am a lonesome loser. I pleed for sympathy.......j/k....... No, I just haven't been succesful in the dating world recently, and I think there are just some confidence issues I need to work out. For example, (if you really are that interested) I have really liked this certain someone for over a year now, and I'm a little sad to say that it wasn't the person I have recently dated for about 8 months. I know I might get in trouble for saying that, but so what........It probably won't get much further than this journal anyway.
That's not to say that I didn't have strong feelings for the person in my previous realationship, because I most certainly did, there was just an unknown strength in feelings for another person. Well anyway, after about 3 months, I finaly got the courage to express my feelings towards this person. After a few words and few sympathy statements on her part, I was ultimatly shot down. It's funny though, all I could feel when she told me how she felt was complete releif. Through my poor confidence level, It took me forever just to say few words. I think I took too long, and this is probably not the reason that she doesn't like me like that, but I have a feeling it has something to do with it. But I move on towards tomorrow, I see no one in the distance yet, but I know that she's there. I just can't see her yet. I hope you understand what I mean. Because I know exactly what my heart is telling me, and it's saying just because I haven't found "the one" doesn't mean that she is standing just around the corner. I just wish I had X-ray glasses to see that far..... :)
The great thing about it is that I have some of greatest friends that I could ask for. They are the ones who give me strength through those tough days. I have never had the kind of friendships I do now. Eleyna, Lesley, Cassidy, Grace, Erin, Jennifer, Sean, Bryan Q., Bryan H, Jay. These people are amazing. I love you guys.
There is so much to learn about myself. I feel like I learn something new about myself everyday, but there always things that I don't know. I wish I did. I wish I had all the answers to all the questions I have. I just know it doesn't work like that. In the meantime, I will keep on searching and looking ahead for great things to come.........Shooze......I feel like I am writing a novel! So I guess this is all I have to say at this point. There is just so much I had to get out. Thanks for reading......if you got all the way through..........
First off, School is going pretty good. It's not incredible, but it is okay. There are so many classes to complete before my personal immovable graduation day arrives. So much to think about. So much to do. Though I may seem stressed, I can say that I am not. I actually enjoy getting the things I need to get done, completed. It permits me to feel like I am getting something accomplished, and I am. I'm pretty proud of myself right now, in this particular aspect anyway.
Then there comes relationships. I have none. There, I said it. I am a lonesome loser. I pleed for sympathy.......j/k....... No, I just haven't been succesful in the dating world recently, and I think there are just some confidence issues I need to work out. For example, (if you really are that interested) I have really liked this certain someone for over a year now, and I'm a little sad to say that it wasn't the person I have recently dated for about 8 months. I know I might get in trouble for saying that, but so what........It probably won't get much further than this journal anyway.
That's not to say that I didn't have strong feelings for the person in my previous realationship, because I most certainly did, there was just an unknown strength in feelings for another person. Well anyway, after about 3 months, I finaly got the courage to express my feelings towards this person. After a few words and few sympathy statements on her part, I was ultimatly shot down. It's funny though, all I could feel when she told me how she felt was complete releif. Through my poor confidence level, It took me forever just to say few words. I think I took too long, and this is probably not the reason that she doesn't like me like that, but I have a feeling it has something to do with it. But I move on towards tomorrow, I see no one in the distance yet, but I know that she's there. I just can't see her yet. I hope you understand what I mean. Because I know exactly what my heart is telling me, and it's saying just because I haven't found "the one" doesn't mean that she is standing just around the corner. I just wish I had X-ray glasses to see that far..... :)
The great thing about it is that I have some of greatest friends that I could ask for. They are the ones who give me strength through those tough days. I have never had the kind of friendships I do now. Eleyna, Lesley, Cassidy, Grace, Erin, Jennifer, Sean, Bryan Q., Bryan H, Jay. These people are amazing. I love you guys.
There is so much to learn about myself. I feel like I learn something new about myself everyday, but there always things that I don't know. I wish I did. I wish I had all the answers to all the questions I have. I just know it doesn't work like that. In the meantime, I will keep on searching and looking ahead for great things to come.........Shooze......I feel like I am writing a novel! So I guess this is all I have to say at this point. There is just so much I had to get out. Thanks for reading......if you got all the way through..........