Don't Tell, Rolling Stone: A Fanmix For Evan Wright
Because hey, music sharing seems like a nice thing. This is both a general 'Evan Wright in the Big Damn AU of Doom' mix but also more specifically, my personal soundtrack to the Rolling Stone series of interviews (of which yes, some have yet to be written). If this was a TV show, these would be the songs used as background tracks *grins* Contains Pete Murray, Barenaked Ladies, Garbage, Foo Fighters and The Dave Matthews Band among others.
Fly With You (Pete Murrary): Evan Wright, who is not, not all looking to be enchanted by politics or a candidate. He's spent half his life in the bleakest corners of the earth he can find. It's in his blood to seek out disaster, not hope and he's seen to many bright shiny leaders and what happens in the end. He never expected Nate Fick though. He certainly never expected this assignment to turn out the way it did.
Helicopters (Barenaked Ladies): Evan, the war reporter. He can watch the soldiers, but he is not a part of them. He doesn't feel much of a part of the journalists who crowd the bars either, bitching about deadlines, lack of service. So he goes out in to the camps, with the Marines, becomes as they do. Sometimes he thinks he's never known how to live as part of a group, only observing it, on the fringes. Usually, it doesn't cause him any kind of pain.
Only Happy When It Rains (Garbage): Yeah, Evan is a realist. But he likes it that way. Angles are his thing, along with bad news. Tragedy gets you by lines, prizes, a narrative arc. He just never expected it to haunt him, long after he'd washed the dust from his boots, the blood from his shirt. You can't erase the words you wrote - that's just the way it works. And the best piece he's ever written is also his nightmare.
The Blowers Daughter (Damian Rice): Generally, compared to what he reports on, Evan Wright has had an touched life. Not one to think of heroes, of saviours or believing in them. He's a journalist, not superman and he's about survival, about the instinct more than anything else. The world he reports on gets in to his skin, as he jets off to another war, another story. Except of course, he slips, sometimes. Little things - a discarded toy, abandoned houses. Even stores, filled with choices, as opposed to nothing and posters advertising goods that would never arrive.
My Hero (Foo Fighters): He never asked for a hero. He never asked to see his sentences staring back, with this strange kind of love and worship evident in every sentence, every phrase and cadence. It's not what he does, but it is what is happening. Because he follows Nate Fick from one end of the country to the other, even across the world. And he still does and doesn't want it, competing tugs inside him.
I Run For Life (Melissa Etheridge): Maybe it's about having something else other than scars and old war stories. Maybe it's because of love, of wanting to write something in the page of his life that isn't about the world being broken up. Maybe it's that he wants to believe that Nate Fick really is running because he cares, for fucks sake. Either way, he's barracking for Senator Fick. Maybe more for himself than anything else as he ponders another mans reasons for seeking office. Wishes he knew him enough to know for sure.
Suddenly I See (KT Tunstall): And the one day, somewhere in between the interviews and the sessions in the coffee shop with his laptop and an extra extra strong venti black coffee he realises he has a fascination with Nate Fick, that goes beyond anything he knows. Nate Fick is an extraordinary young man (or not so young, when Evan catches a glimpse of his eyes, at odd moments) and yes, he is handsome. Evan freely admits that admiration. What's more difficult is the hunger he feels, when he sees him with Brad, with Brad and Ella, with his close friends, close family. He can watch them all he likes, understand them all he likes but he's never a part of this, he knows that. But he can't help wanting to come back.
The Real Thing (Russell Morris): Another Starbucks, another black coffee and a late night in which all he wants to do is never stare at his laptop again. Except suddenly he realizes he is following Nate Fick across the country, searching for a saviour whom he is no longer picking holes in. Maybe, maybe that was what all this was about, he thinks with a laugh at himself. Become journalist, spend life in war zones and third world hellholes and return to fall under the spell of a politican. It's ridiculous, but he still cheers, silently, when Nate Fick speaks. He almost donates, actually, but doesn't, because it scares him enough, how many internal rules he's broken in this fascination with Nate Fick.
The Space Between (The Dave Matthews Band): He's a journalist, never less than honest, because he is a good one. So he can't say he isn't bitter, even a little jealous that Nate Fick would never truly, be able to give him what he'd like. That he'd never be part of the family he has been observing for a year now. Yeah, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it burns. Sometimes he wonders, how much does this find it's way in to the stories he writes, in to his commentary, this half jealous envy and want for attention. Want to make an impression on Nathaniel Fick. He calls him Senator Fick, Nathaniel, Fick. Nathaniel Fick. Never Nate. Well almost never.
Paris Is Burning (Saint Vincent): It's on his third cup of coffee of the mid morning, typing up his Colbert notes that Evan Wright decides he hates him. Or maybe not hates, but envies certainly. And admires, at the same time. It's the kind of self contradiction he is proud of. He's fairly sure Colbert hates him, but it's a generalised contempt, which somehow stings worse. He wonders sometimes, what Nate Fick thinks, in odd moments about the media, about this circus that his life has become. Burdens and worth. On the fourth cup, Evan is almost sure that Nate Fick doesn't like him, but he never entirely settles the question in his mind.
Endless Skies (VNV Nation): This is the election, this is a victory. This is Evan Wright, trying to find the words.
Fly With You (Pete Murrary): Evan Wright, who is not, not all looking to be enchanted by politics or a candidate. He's spent half his life in the bleakest corners of the earth he can find. It's in his blood to seek out disaster, not hope and he's seen to many bright shiny leaders and what happens in the end. He never expected Nate Fick though. He certainly never expected this assignment to turn out the way it did.
Helicopters (Barenaked Ladies): Evan, the war reporter. He can watch the soldiers, but he is not a part of them. He doesn't feel much of a part of the journalists who crowd the bars either, bitching about deadlines, lack of service. So he goes out in to the camps, with the Marines, becomes as they do. Sometimes he thinks he's never known how to live as part of a group, only observing it, on the fringes. Usually, it doesn't cause him any kind of pain.
Only Happy When It Rains (Garbage): Yeah, Evan is a realist. But he likes it that way. Angles are his thing, along with bad news. Tragedy gets you by lines, prizes, a narrative arc. He just never expected it to haunt him, long after he'd washed the dust from his boots, the blood from his shirt. You can't erase the words you wrote - that's just the way it works. And the best piece he's ever written is also his nightmare.
The Blowers Daughter (Damian Rice): Generally, compared to what he reports on, Evan Wright has had an touched life. Not one to think of heroes, of saviours or believing in them. He's a journalist, not superman and he's about survival, about the instinct more than anything else. The world he reports on gets in to his skin, as he jets off to another war, another story. Except of course, he slips, sometimes. Little things - a discarded toy, abandoned houses. Even stores, filled with choices, as opposed to nothing and posters advertising goods that would never arrive.
My Hero (Foo Fighters): He never asked for a hero. He never asked to see his sentences staring back, with this strange kind of love and worship evident in every sentence, every phrase and cadence. It's not what he does, but it is what is happening. Because he follows Nate Fick from one end of the country to the other, even across the world. And he still does and doesn't want it, competing tugs inside him.
I Run For Life (Melissa Etheridge): Maybe it's about having something else other than scars and old war stories. Maybe it's because of love, of wanting to write something in the page of his life that isn't about the world being broken up. Maybe it's that he wants to believe that Nate Fick really is running because he cares, for fucks sake. Either way, he's barracking for Senator Fick. Maybe more for himself than anything else as he ponders another mans reasons for seeking office. Wishes he knew him enough to know for sure.
Suddenly I See (KT Tunstall): And the one day, somewhere in between the interviews and the sessions in the coffee shop with his laptop and an extra extra strong venti black coffee he realises he has a fascination with Nate Fick, that goes beyond anything he knows. Nate Fick is an extraordinary young man (or not so young, when Evan catches a glimpse of his eyes, at odd moments) and yes, he is handsome. Evan freely admits that admiration. What's more difficult is the hunger he feels, when he sees him with Brad, with Brad and Ella, with his close friends, close family. He can watch them all he likes, understand them all he likes but he's never a part of this, he knows that. But he can't help wanting to come back.
The Real Thing (Russell Morris): Another Starbucks, another black coffee and a late night in which all he wants to do is never stare at his laptop again. Except suddenly he realizes he is following Nate Fick across the country, searching for a saviour whom he is no longer picking holes in. Maybe, maybe that was what all this was about, he thinks with a laugh at himself. Become journalist, spend life in war zones and third world hellholes and return to fall under the spell of a politican. It's ridiculous, but he still cheers, silently, when Nate Fick speaks. He almost donates, actually, but doesn't, because it scares him enough, how many internal rules he's broken in this fascination with Nate Fick.
The Space Between (The Dave Matthews Band): He's a journalist, never less than honest, because he is a good one. So he can't say he isn't bitter, even a little jealous that Nate Fick would never truly, be able to give him what he'd like. That he'd never be part of the family he has been observing for a year now. Yeah, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it burns. Sometimes he wonders, how much does this find it's way in to the stories he writes, in to his commentary, this half jealous envy and want for attention. Want to make an impression on Nathaniel Fick. He calls him Senator Fick, Nathaniel, Fick. Nathaniel Fick. Never Nate. Well almost never.
Paris Is Burning (Saint Vincent): It's on his third cup of coffee of the mid morning, typing up his Colbert notes that Evan Wright decides he hates him. Or maybe not hates, but envies certainly. And admires, at the same time. It's the kind of self contradiction he is proud of. He's fairly sure Colbert hates him, but it's a generalised contempt, which somehow stings worse. He wonders sometimes, what Nate Fick thinks, in odd moments about the media, about this circus that his life has become. Burdens and worth. On the fourth cup, Evan is almost sure that Nate Fick doesn't like him, but he never entirely settles the question in his mind.
Endless Skies (VNV Nation): This is the election, this is a victory. This is Evan Wright, trying to find the words.