- to see your face on northern stars...*
To the other pea in my pod...
I'm running out of journals to write to you in. However, I've decided to buy a notebook, so I can write to you everyday. I think that will be really good for me. Talking to you helps, but writing them down always makes me feel better.
I'm giving Chuck and Chris a photo album of you. I think they'll like it. I know it'll be hard to look at your pictures now, but in time, it'll get better.
I hate saying that...in time. I don't want to wait. I want to see you NOW. You know how I am, I'm the most impatient person, ever. But so are you. I guess God is too...he wanted you there with him now.
I see people lose close loved ones all the time...but for it to happen to me? And to take the person that meant the most...Oh, Cory. I'm just really glad that it was you to go, because I'd hate to think of you down here in pain. Although, I'd give everything to be there with you. But I know, deep in my heart, you're waiting for me.
Were we soul mates? I wish we could have talked about that. I believe we are.
I hope you like my tattoo idea.
How's your grandma? I know you two are up there playing cards. If you ever need a good luck charm, you know where to find me.
I felt you today. I know that I did...I'm happy that you can be around me all of the time. But, to be completely honest...I'm going to miss your voice. Oh, who am I kidding. I miss everything.
I wish James understood. Today hurt me so much...but I guess no one besides you and I will know.
I want to be happy, and we both know that I'm not. The thing that makes me the saddest, is thinking of my future, and not seeing you there. What happens if I get married? You're supposed to be there to be the best man. And if I have a baby? You're the god-father.
I still have a voice-mail from you. It's unreal to me, that you're really gone. The funeral, oh God Cory, your funeral...I can't even imagine seeing you lay there...you know I'm going to be on of those people who just breakdown...I just hope I have a lot of people around me for support. It's just...you're the one I always ran to, you're the one who was my support...but now what? Help me, help me be as strong as I can be at your wake and funeral. Be there with me, hold my hand, and guide me.
I love you.
<3