(no subject)
man life has been so hectic
heres a breakdown of what has happened:
~ been doing lots of work and have started hating my english teacher
~ have been hanging with mary, katie, and julie a lot (thats a lot of "ie"'s)
~ Got an apartment off vineyard with luigi
~ we are moving tomorrow but we've taken a good look of the place
~ been watching my money and been working hard at it
~ got in a fiss with my parents cus their panties are in a bunch that i'm moving in with a guy. my dads being surprisingly helpful
~ got a new unactivated cell phone and ran out of minutes on my last one, so i dont have a cell for a little while
~ got banned from my boyfriends place for a little while and tried to go back and wanted to apologize but after i was shoo'd out again i decided it would be best not to go back and hang out with my boyfriend cus his parents arent worth my trouble when i'm actively trying to be nice and be humble and not be a bad house guest but can only say that i am human and trying to fucking apologize only to realize that all they really do is shit talk when they are mad at me will only make things worse. wow... a period...
~ I'm quite anoyed at andrew for keeping me out dry in ways of apartments and thank god that i was able to find a place and grab it.
~ slightly annoyed at alex cus he seems to not be all to logical at times though his heart is in the right place.
~ really happy with how understanding luigi is. man we are like, best friends now. i had to work for as far as i am and now i think i can say he is the only one who has not let me down or flaked out on me when i needed him or someone to either listen to me or to talk about moving. he allowed for anything and it was just really fucking spiffy that he let things work out the way he did.
~ I really miss hanging out with my boyfriend. i was with him all the time for such a long time that now it just feels lonely when i dont see him around me. its very frustrating that his parents think very little of me now. specially when it would be such a hard time.
You know, these past three months have gone by so slowly, with every day feeling like it lasted forever. I think that it really proves how rough things can get, and in all honesty, how much people will run with you. half way? only a few steps? up until you stopped?
When someone needs help in the most drastic way, it means a lot to just give them a meal or help them out when you understand that although it was their choice to need help, it was also a very undermining circumstance.
What i am trying to say is that it is very hard to help someone at your own expense, but also it is very honorable to do everything you can. I appreciate everything everyone has done for me up to this point, i will name a few here:
Murphy Family: let me stay in their home for two months straight without much of a bother even if it meant sharing one bathroom among six people. They also baught or made me dinner several times and never minded to help me out with anything.
Andrew: Let me stay at his moms house for two weeks. helped me move all my things, packing and unpacking, pushing and shoving, and let me take charge over the idea of moving out. Also drove me some places when i needed a ride the most.
Alex: drove me places and helped me out with nikko when we had very hard times in the relationship, tried to do what he could for me without stepping bounderies and certainly offered many a time to help.
Luigi: listened to everything i had to say, thick or thin, and just listened and absorbed. gave me a hug when i wanted one and a piggyback ride if i asked. buys me meals and drinks all the time, and helped me out in getting a place to stay.
Nikko: helped me every single day. Even when we argued or got in a fight he stayed even if he was embittered. spent money on me to make me happy and healthy, and did what he could to care for me until he no longer controlled the surroundings. Loving, caring, providing boyfriend and a wonderful friend.
Nikkos parents: Gave me wonderful meals and fun days, along with help and furnature and advice to heed. Let me stay at their place until odd hours, and helped me along every step of the way
Mike: drove me some places and helped me out with a good meal of hot dogs. joked and offered all the help he could.
Mary: baught me a few meals and drove me places i needed to go. always offered to do what she could and helped me in class. been a very caring friend when my boyfriend and i were in a rutt, and always gives a great hug.
Domus co-workers:
Megan: always a great audience when i have something to say, something to joke, something to cry about. Wonderful sense of humor and a beautiful open girl.
Karen: helped me out with all scheduling, getting luigi hired, giving me what she could to help me out, and overall being a great person to me. I really appreciate all the wise words she has given me.
Julie: baked great brownies for me tonight for my birthday. Wonderful woman who is a real mom at heart and can care for anything.
Kathy: One of the greatest bosses in the world, gave me my paycheck early and helped me out in costs when i tried to make things work. been a great help and catalyst for me and my apartment.
Amanda: been a great coworker to help me with food or a good meal. always had something funny to say and never let me down on it.
General:
Some people i will never know helped me out emotionally and financially. A couple in japan town who paid for a meal for nikko and i when we were struggling with money and school. A kind couple's caretaker who gave money tips to megan and I for wrapping gifts which are complimentary. a teacher who was so grateful in me assisting her in a computer problem that she gave me a backpack just for thanks. Things like this have made my life these past three months so much more barable and miraculous. I appreciate every little thing.
I am sure there are more, but those are the ones that come to my tired little mind right now, and beyond that, i will be sure to thank every little person who has helped me along the way.
Alas, 15 more minutes until i am 19. My birthday! amazing. I am moving n my birthday, and we celebrated tonight... Hark! days pass easier with fine shipmates. I loved everything that happened. I dont regret moving out and my parents will get over it. I will stay strong and refuse to back down now. I am who i am and I need to be able to be free and hold on to the responsibilities i need to hold. I can do this, now and ongoing.
At last, i can now say: I have done it. I have made it. While I may never be able to repay those who favored for me, I can say with confidence I know the best damn people in this world.
heres a breakdown of what has happened:
~ been doing lots of work and have started hating my english teacher
~ have been hanging with mary, katie, and julie a lot (thats a lot of "ie"'s)
~ Got an apartment off vineyard with luigi
~ we are moving tomorrow but we've taken a good look of the place
~ been watching my money and been working hard at it
~ got in a fiss with my parents cus their panties are in a bunch that i'm moving in with a guy. my dads being surprisingly helpful
~ got a new unactivated cell phone and ran out of minutes on my last one, so i dont have a cell for a little while
~ got banned from my boyfriends place for a little while and tried to go back and wanted to apologize but after i was shoo'd out again i decided it would be best not to go back and hang out with my boyfriend cus his parents arent worth my trouble when i'm actively trying to be nice and be humble and not be a bad house guest but can only say that i am human and trying to fucking apologize only to realize that all they really do is shit talk when they are mad at me will only make things worse. wow... a period...
~ I'm quite anoyed at andrew for keeping me out dry in ways of apartments and thank god that i was able to find a place and grab it.
~ slightly annoyed at alex cus he seems to not be all to logical at times though his heart is in the right place.
~ really happy with how understanding luigi is. man we are like, best friends now. i had to work for as far as i am and now i think i can say he is the only one who has not let me down or flaked out on me when i needed him or someone to either listen to me or to talk about moving. he allowed for anything and it was just really fucking spiffy that he let things work out the way he did.
~ I really miss hanging out with my boyfriend. i was with him all the time for such a long time that now it just feels lonely when i dont see him around me. its very frustrating that his parents think very little of me now. specially when it would be such a hard time.
You know, these past three months have gone by so slowly, with every day feeling like it lasted forever. I think that it really proves how rough things can get, and in all honesty, how much people will run with you. half way? only a few steps? up until you stopped?
When someone needs help in the most drastic way, it means a lot to just give them a meal or help them out when you understand that although it was their choice to need help, it was also a very undermining circumstance.
What i am trying to say is that it is very hard to help someone at your own expense, but also it is very honorable to do everything you can. I appreciate everything everyone has done for me up to this point, i will name a few here:
Murphy Family: let me stay in their home for two months straight without much of a bother even if it meant sharing one bathroom among six people. They also baught or made me dinner several times and never minded to help me out with anything.
Andrew: Let me stay at his moms house for two weeks. helped me move all my things, packing and unpacking, pushing and shoving, and let me take charge over the idea of moving out. Also drove me some places when i needed a ride the most.
Alex: drove me places and helped me out with nikko when we had very hard times in the relationship, tried to do what he could for me without stepping bounderies and certainly offered many a time to help.
Luigi: listened to everything i had to say, thick or thin, and just listened and absorbed. gave me a hug when i wanted one and a piggyback ride if i asked. buys me meals and drinks all the time, and helped me out in getting a place to stay.
Nikko: helped me every single day. Even when we argued or got in a fight he stayed even if he was embittered. spent money on me to make me happy and healthy, and did what he could to care for me until he no longer controlled the surroundings. Loving, caring, providing boyfriend and a wonderful friend.
Nikkos parents: Gave me wonderful meals and fun days, along with help and furnature and advice to heed. Let me stay at their place until odd hours, and helped me along every step of the way
Mike: drove me some places and helped me out with a good meal of hot dogs. joked and offered all the help he could.
Mary: baught me a few meals and drove me places i needed to go. always offered to do what she could and helped me in class. been a very caring friend when my boyfriend and i were in a rutt, and always gives a great hug.
Domus co-workers:
Megan: always a great audience when i have something to say, something to joke, something to cry about. Wonderful sense of humor and a beautiful open girl.
Karen: helped me out with all scheduling, getting luigi hired, giving me what she could to help me out, and overall being a great person to me. I really appreciate all the wise words she has given me.
Julie: baked great brownies for me tonight for my birthday. Wonderful woman who is a real mom at heart and can care for anything.
Kathy: One of the greatest bosses in the world, gave me my paycheck early and helped me out in costs when i tried to make things work. been a great help and catalyst for me and my apartment.
Amanda: been a great coworker to help me with food or a good meal. always had something funny to say and never let me down on it.
General:
Some people i will never know helped me out emotionally and financially. A couple in japan town who paid for a meal for nikko and i when we were struggling with money and school. A kind couple's caretaker who gave money tips to megan and I for wrapping gifts which are complimentary. a teacher who was so grateful in me assisting her in a computer problem that she gave me a backpack just for thanks. Things like this have made my life these past three months so much more barable and miraculous. I appreciate every little thing.
I am sure there are more, but those are the ones that come to my tired little mind right now, and beyond that, i will be sure to thank every little person who has helped me along the way.
Alas, 15 more minutes until i am 19. My birthday! amazing. I am moving n my birthday, and we celebrated tonight... Hark! days pass easier with fine shipmates. I loved everything that happened. I dont regret moving out and my parents will get over it. I will stay strong and refuse to back down now. I am who i am and I need to be able to be free and hold on to the responsibilities i need to hold. I can do this, now and ongoing.
At last, i can now say: I have done it. I have made it. While I may never be able to repay those who favored for me, I can say with confidence I know the best damn people in this world.