I hated the world but I am back!
Yes! I hated everything!!!! this past three days have been hell. I've been anxiously waiting to hear if I got this new job or not and I didn't . I found out this morning after waiting for a weak. I called her and she then politely informed me that she hired somebody else. I was destroyed ...why ? because I had so much hope, I dreamt of a better future. I really did picture every step of my life after i heard the great news. I thought about how i was going to quit my shitty job and how I was going to tell my parents that they didn't have to pay for my car anymore. It was great! i was so proud but hey it didn't happen ....I also found out this sunday that my shitty job decided to cut my hours and split my work days between two stores!! so my crapy job went from shitty to supertremendouseshittytotheEXTREMjob! argh I really wanted to punch somebody or killed them. Today it was hard i went back to bed and really believed there was no way out from shitiness. how dramatic I know but I really felt that way. I got out of bed and I quit crying like a stupid girl and called people. In no time i realized that this is just not important enough to get depressed over. feeling bad for yourself is for losers!!! fixing things and doing something about it is the way to go.
Anyway i am cool I am going to fix my resume and tomorrow go job hunting. I am really excited i don't want to do framing anymore, I AM NOT A FRAMER. this weekend i got introduce to somebody that way.."yeah this is Maria she is a framer" GOD it really made me think! am I? FUCK NO! nothing wrong if that's what you want to do and you love it but that was not in my list of dreamy things i wanted to be. I only wanted to be one thing since i was six and that is an Artist. the meaning has changed "artist" since then is not as naive and romantic but that is still the Goal. I have to remember to stay focused!! it's hard! sometimes i doubt myself ,sometimes i just want to give up and have a stable job that makes my parents happy and sometimes I just simply forget The Goal!
On a side note I have two confessions: I love dancing with all my heart and tonight I watched to much Sex in the city.
Anyway i am cool I am going to fix my resume and tomorrow go job hunting. I am really excited i don't want to do framing anymore, I AM NOT A FRAMER. this weekend i got introduce to somebody that way.."yeah this is Maria she is a framer" GOD it really made me think! am I? FUCK NO! nothing wrong if that's what you want to do and you love it but that was not in my list of dreamy things i wanted to be. I only wanted to be one thing since i was six and that is an Artist. the meaning has changed "artist" since then is not as naive and romantic but that is still the Goal. I have to remember to stay focused!! it's hard! sometimes i doubt myself ,sometimes i just want to give up and have a stable job that makes my parents happy and sometimes I just simply forget The Goal!
On a side note I have two confessions: I love dancing with all my heart and tonight I watched to much Sex in the city.